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Post by Nie on Dec 7, 2003 4:32:57 GMT -5
If it makes you feel any better En, boht my mum and my grandad horde stuff that they should throw out because they don't like to waste and put a sentimental value on every material possession they have. And my 42 year old mum has decided to start dating a 24 year old. I won't even start on the insecurity and psychological reasons behind that, but I've suddenly lost alot of respect for her because of it, cos she's basically suddenly thrown away her morals.
Someone else I was close to did it too. Not quite as bad an age difference, but it was the legal side of it that they ignored.
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Post by KoNeko on Dec 7, 2003 8:11:13 GMT -5
I just came back from a Christmas party. All Asians of course. Afterwards, I was wondering what you guys do in family gatherings and parties? On my mother's side, they tend to play a lot of Mahjong ((Very fun!)) and karaoke ((Also very fun)).. *grins* Will, that's so funny how you pick out some fun-but-typically-Asian things that you guys do... we do the mahjong thing too (well, not me, because I'm really bad at it) and have big Chinese banquet-type dinners. Well, we used to, but because most of the family is now overseas (Canada or Australia), Christmastime for me is going back to Hong Kong and celebrating with the immediate family and the two doggies. ;D
You know what's interesting is that I never realised there were so many people with backgrounds from Asia. I thought that at first there was only me and Lilg, and now there's Will and Panda as well, and a whole heap of others, and all of us have families that have migrated somewhere.
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Calantha
Gryffindor Alumni
My name is Luck, this is my song, I happened by when you were gone
Posts: 4,493
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Post by Calantha on Dec 7, 2003 9:33:38 GMT -5
Hah! I have to make the trek back to my birthplace today to have a Christmas party on my Dad's side. We used to, before my uncle passed away, crack walnuts, put money inside them, superglue them back together and sell them for seventy five cents. It was really entertaining to crack them and see people getting a penny and then the person beside them getting ten dollars.
Seriously, I think we should play games or something but we don't...no no...the females can't play cards...only the males. Psh. I could beat them all at poker! But mostly we eat, sit around and talk, laugh, sometimes cry if the occassion calls for it, tell stories, have bragging contests about either how much money you make, how well your children are doing, or how influencial you are. Granted, I never take place in the contests, but normally most people do... Yep, sit, talk, eat, brag, lie, cheat, steal.
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Post by En on Dec 7, 2003 11:11:44 GMT -5
*makes a face* Yeah, in my da's family the women are supposed to serve up a big meal while the men sit around and talk about business. No wonder I'm transgendered... I don't want to do either one Well, not quite true -- I'd serve up a meal if they only asked me to arrange stuff on the table. Also I'd talk business if they weren't such Republicans about it.
It's a weird thing, people without traditions wanting them, and people with them thinking they're annoying... grass is always greener, I guess. I could do without the Stuff I've been inheriting (I get books too, Cal... but how did they decide the books vs. jewelry before you were born?! ) and could definitely do without the responsibility they like to load me up with... carrying on the traditions and all that (I am the oldest child ). But then, even my family, not recognising the traditions we do have, keep trying to start new ones. Making a kid in the family hand out gifts on the holiday while wearing a "santa" cap, for example. Bleah.
I wish we had a game we played at family gatherings, but my da is such a sore loser that I can see why we don't
So we do pretty much what Cal's family does -- if it were in order from what we do most to least, I'd say eat, brag, and talk about which one of us is going to die this year. Cheery, eh?
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Calantha
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My name is Luck, this is my song, I happened by when you were gone
Posts: 4,493
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Post by Calantha on Dec 7, 2003 18:23:40 GMT -5
It's crazy weird, my family when it comes to stuff like that. Almost everything is determined before we are born. I'm surprised we don't have arranged marriages in my family! Whenever I ask I get "We just had a feeling..." which translates into "We don't really know why, but you were last so you got the stuff not as valuable". Note: I personally like books over jewlery so I don't care how valuable they are. They also said because of my weird great grandfather connection that I would like books as well and my Nan has a book of predicitions and she actually wrote down I was going to become a teacher. She told me today. I don't know whether or not they raised me to secretly be the book nerd and my sister to be more of a jewlery person, I don't know. They also pre-chose our china and spoons. And it's all in a little book in a fireproof box sitting in a locked safe in my Nan's basement. Today was interesting because lots of people came to the party, I think about fifty in total. I always feel bad when people know me and then I have to ask my Nan who they are . We started talking about politics...we're generally split half republican half democrats although now there are less democrats and it resulted in the near disownment of my close uncle who is running for state senate under the democratic ticket. I thought my great-uncle was going to hit him with his plate he got so angry. And one of my cousins was arrested for stealing his grandparent's savings from under their bed and now he's in jail so that caused a bit of a riff as well. Family gatherings for me are normally dramatic, so I'm used to it. En, we talk about who is going to die next as well and how much medication someone is on and stuff. Today I was up for topic because I've been sick lately. They told me I didn't eat enough meat and potatos.
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MagPie
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Posts: 449
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Post by MagPie on Dec 7, 2003 20:09:59 GMT -5
When my family gets together, we pretty much just do the eat, talk, brag thing. Mostly, one of my cousins in particular brags. She REALLY gets to me b/c she puts on a show to make the aunts and uncles "see" how great she is. Let me tell you, she lived with us for 2 years and is just about the most inconsiderate person in the world! When she moved out, she just left a note and didn't even say thank you to my parents! She's a conversation monopolizer. We have learned to stay away from political discussions over the years though. It's mostly Republicans, but we have a few token Democrats. We just keep our mouths shut though, because my grandfather is getting up there and is very easily upset, so for the most part we all just try to make the time nice for him and my grandmother. But he usually ends up pissing someone off anyway...ahh, the holidays
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Post by Nie on Dec 7, 2003 21:46:48 GMT -5
OK, En mentioned in the Map thread about making a map so we could show where our ancestors and family came from, and I was bored so I did just that.
www.xi.bravehost.com/
I've already marked where I come from. I have lots of dots.
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Post by En on Dec 8, 2003 13:18:39 GMT -5
I threw some of mine in too.
The bragging in my family is going to get ugly this year because my uncle is a successful politician -- the mayor of a large suburb -- but my da lost a race for state representative. The political talk is also going to be ugly because my cousin just got shipped to Iraq (he's a flyboy) -- and it's really bad timing, since his mum is dying of MS -- and all the younger generation are opposed to Bush's War, but my grandfather and da are for it.
*sigh*
Well, there's one thing to look forward to: my grandmother's snack mix. Dunno what that woman puts in it, but it's divine. I'll probably end up chowing on that and talking music and stuff with my sister Liz. Oh, and she and Liam and I will go to see The Return of the King. That is one thing my da's kids have in common -- an appreciation for good art, and a bit of a fantastical streak.
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Post by Will on Dec 8, 2003 21:20:23 GMT -5
No kidding, Neko! I had no idea there were other Asians aside from myself. Hmmm, I’ve only been to Taiwan once in my life. I was about five years old and I think it was around Chinese New Year because we were lighting firecrackers. My mom accidentally lit a whole box of them and I was separated from her.
Funny. My mom forbade me to learn how to play poker, yet I know how to play mahjong. Ok, so I learned how to play mahjong pretty recently ((a year ago)), but still… I feel a bit left out when all my classmates ask if I want to play.
Hey, I like cooking. No, I love it. I have prohibited my mother to cook anything by herself for the Christmas dinner. I’m going to read through cookbooks and find all the dished I want to make. I’ll then compile a grocery list and be on my way. I like hearing that my hard work taste good. Though me little sister takes great pleasure in criticizing my cooking skills. Prat.
Let’s see, usually, the kids and the adults have their own tables because one table will not fit all of us. While us kids are catching up of each other’s lives, the adults talk away. I’m not entirely sure what they gabber on about, but they do brag. Oh how they brag and talk about us children as we listen on with annoyance. I think that’s a big Asian thing too. Talking about their children like that. –sigh- They are fun to listen to when the subject isn’t about kids. Actually, my uncles are very funny guys. I love listening to their stories.
Games. We have none really. It’s mainly sharing stories and catching up with each other. We did, however, started a nice game of blackjack once. It was my first time and everyone was gathered around the table, laughing. Oh, it was wonderful.
Who’s going to die next? –mouth gaps-
You know… it’s funny to see slightly intoxicated adults. Of course some have to shy away from alcohol due to driving technicalities, but the others are all the more amusing when… Ok, never mind about that...
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Calantha
Gryffindor Alumni
My name is Luck, this is my song, I happened by when you were gone
Posts: 4,493
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Post by Calantha on Dec 8, 2003 21:35:13 GMT -5
I learned from watching envious for many years and the my father broke down and let me play penny poker with him. Now I've surpassed his knowledge of poker but he doesn't like to admit it. We've got a recipe that is being passed down. My Grand's sister was the only girl in the family so she got it. I'm jealous because she passed it to her daughter and then she passed it to her daughter and so forth. But guess what? They aren't allowed to give it to anyone else! It's for apple sauce cake...I've tried to recreate it but I can't. I think one day I might have to sneak into my aunt's cookbook and steal it. Someone told me the one this year had cranberry jelly instead of grape jelly and also had a bit of red wine mixed in. I have all these bits and pieces...but not enough to know how to make it! Meh, I hate the kid table...I have a little story about the kid table. I've always had to sit at it because I used to be the youngest on my Dad's side and there were always a lot of people. So ever since my cousin was adopted he gets to sit at the big person table. My Grand used to sit with me and my sister. And then my sister was promoted to big person table so it would be my Grand and our family friend Wayne (Note: My cousin was four and I was 15 at this time and my sister ws 18). I was so angry because I wanted to talk to them and I'd have to sit quietly because if you're at the little kid table you aren't suppose to talk to the big person table, which pissed the hell out of me. Anyway, to this day my cousin still gets to sit at the big person table. After my Grand died, I was so angry because he took his spot. I personally thought if anyone should get it, it should be the oldest child, being my father. But now, the youngest grandkid gets it! Bah! Anyway...it just makes me angry. I told my Nan one day and she said she didn't want my aunt to sit at the table in general. My Nan hates my aunt with a passion (as we all do). When Rachel got promoted to the big person table it was a big deal and this year I was promoted because my Nan said I deserved it. Didn't I feel slightly bad but overly happy when I saw my little cousin sitting at the little kid table with my aunt! I declined Grand's spot, seeing as how I was on the verge of tears about seeing it empty. Um, no, I wasn't jealous at all.
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Post by Will on Dec 8, 2003 22:17:27 GMT -5
I know what you mean, Cal, desperately wanting to know how to make a certain dish or treat. My cousin baked this really good batch of cookies once. Oi, they really were splendid. I only remember some of the ingredients, but I could never figure out how to make it. Argh.
I don’t think there is a promotion thing with our family. The oldest cousin, 25, still sits with us. In fact, I actually like the kid table. Well, my little cousins tend to be a bit irritating with their need to bounce around and cause havoc… but other then that, my cousins are fun to be with. I’m sorry to hear about your situation though, Cal. At least you got it off your chest?
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Post by En on Dec 9, 2003 12:32:29 GMT -5
Urgh. In the beginning, there was no kid table. Family meals were just my grandparents, their four kids, their spouses (well, two husbands of the two girls) and me and my cousin (the one who is now in the war). Then the family grew and they decided to try dividing us up. Well, I was six to eight years older than the new kids in the family, and I'd spent a good many years at the adult table, throwing in my two cents on political discussions, and here I was getting shunted off to sit with tiny, loud people whose primary concern involved spitting food back out. (Not that I'm blaming the kids involved; they were infants. In fact I felt really sorry for them because the adults didn't seem to want to include them, which I figured was cheating the kids.)
The kid table didn't last; the family fractured in other ways and it just didn't end up being practical. But (and yeah, I know, oldest childism again) I am never going to have a kid table and an adult table. How the heck are kids supposed to learn what goes on in the adult world they're going to join if they get separated out from it all the time?
The adults I know often claim that the kids have more fun talking about "kid" sorts of things. Well, fine. Don't have place cards. Let the kids choose to sit all together at one end of the table if they want, but don't exclude the kids who want to try hearing and talking with the adults. And if the adults have things to discuss that they don't want the kids to be in on... that's what bedtimes are for.
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Calantha
Gryffindor Alumni
My name is Luck, this is my song, I happened by when you were gone
Posts: 4,493
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Post by Calantha on Dec 9, 2003 13:18:19 GMT -5
Yes, I agree En. Not that it didn't really stop me from going over and thowing in my beliefs, or even at best, hovering around to listen and saying things like "Oh, I needed another roll" and then take extra time to put my jam on.
Being the youngest, I've never had any actual rules placed on me. My sister had a bedtime but I never did. I just fell asleep when I got tired. Staying up late was never a "big person" thing to me so I never thought it was cool to stay up late. *shrugs* Because they made rules for my sister and didn't make separate rules for me, I have always been under the same rules for a person three years older than me. The only rule I really have is call when I'm going to be late and that is common curtesy to my parents.
Ew, the kid next to me just coughed in my direction and didn't cover his mouth *shudders*
That's another big thing with my family...manners.
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Post by En on Dec 9, 2003 16:22:36 GMT -5
Mm. My grandmother really wants me to have manners, and I try, at least the bits that, you know, staunch the spread of germs
Actually, manners were really really important to my great-grandmother, whose father was the Confederate gentleman. Important enough that she intimidated everyone in her town, to the point where little girls were afraid to come to tea at Mrs. [Phillip]'s house. Yet before she died, she told me that she lived in terror of her mother's good manners and always tried to live up to them. Here's the funny bit: her mum was an orphan raised on a farm with three rowdy boys, and she nearly ran away with a redheaded farm hand. Not the sort of person that society at that time would assume had immaculate manners. And yet, great-great-grandma Page was so respected for her immaculate manners and business sense (yeah, what a combo!) that she was singlehandedly able to keep any taverns from opening in the town until AFTER WWII.
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Post by Nie on Dec 9, 2003 18:18:33 GMT -5
When I'm at my mum's for Christmas we don't really have a kid's table. Everyone just sits together. But then Christmas is one of the few times of the year that we don't have extra, unwanted people invading. When I'm at my dad's for Chirstmas we're at his girlfriend's place and she likes everyone sitting together as well. She gets another table so she can add an extension to the already pretty big outdoors table (it's of course the middle of summer here in Australia at Christmas, so outdoor feasts and BBQs are very common). When we're at my grannys it's usually a giant BBQ with all the family there and she doesn't even bother with a table for everyone to eat at. She just puts all the food on the table then puts chairs all around her backyard for people to sit on. It's one big "schamozzal". I think I like my granny's Christmas the most.
My Oma can be very particular when it comes to table manners, right down to how you should set your cutlery on your plate when you are finished and full and don't want anymore food. This is one thing I've come to tattoo to my memory cos my Oma has a habit of just refilling your plate as soon as it empties, not thinking about really asking.
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