Calantha
Gryffindor Alumni
My name is Luck, this is my song, I happened by when you were gone
Posts: 4,493
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Post by Calantha on Dec 23, 2003 9:50:07 GMT -5
Heh. My father goes to work at five thirty and gets home around nine usually. There is no reason. He's the last one in the office and the first one in the office. My parents love, love, love time when it comes to anyone being late or early. And hate time when it comes to our house. For some odd reason, time seems to stop when everyone is at home but the moment someone leaves the house who is normally in the house (including our live-in) time picks back up again and they are oddly aware of what time it is. When I was little, I ran in to see my great-grandmother throwing away an empty box of chicken and putting the chicken on a platter. I grabbed my rubic's cube (yes, it was like...my favourite play thing when I was little) and ran to sit back down at the table. When she came out she talked so much about how she slaved over the oven and all this crap. When I came up to the table she was sitting at and asked if she worked af kfc because the box was from there she got up and left the table and didn't speak to my parents until she was really sick to say that she had decided to leave them in her will. If I had actually known her, I'm sure I would have hated her with a passion, family or not.
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Natz
Ravenclaw Alumni
Posts: 4,269
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Post by Natz on Dec 23, 2003 11:32:56 GMT -5
Time seems to have dissolved during the week leading up to christmas eve. Anyway my family can get a bit uptight about time sometimes but that was understandable on saturday because we had to get home from the lakes before midnight. No where near as rigid as ritas grandfather In other situations when my dad used to work i remember frquently being the first one in school because he had to be in for eight o'clock in the morning if he had a long shot on such as christmas hampers in july. He was a photographer for advertising and yes that is when they make the christmas puddings which always confused me when he brought them home in summer time when i was a little kid I was the most panicky about time thanks to the school i went to which insisted on counting the weeks days hours and minutes until our mock exams were due and then until our proper exams were due
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Post by En on Dec 23, 2003 12:28:43 GMT -5
Hm, Rita, people from the small towns in Iowa are like that too -- patriotic to the town. People from the big towns aren't like that as much. A few are, but not many. What's funny is that I've lived in four different cities, and only like 3 years in Mechanicsville, where my family are actually from -- and people in Crapids still introduce me as "_______ from Mechanicsville."
I don't argue with them because I haven't lived in the place I want to be from yet Besides, it cracks me up when people respond, "Oh, I know your parents -- Virginia's a real sweet lady." (Virginia is my grandmother ;D) I think the family would insist on giving birth there if there were a hospital, but as it is, they all get married and buried there.
Wonder if it's a city/country thing? No, not really... I know people from Philadelphia, which is a huge city, who are patriotic like your grandmother. And I know three people from New York City who are almost Texan -- "Yeah, I'm from New York, you wanna make something of it?"
I am one of those people who goes to work at 7 and works until 7, or at least I was until I stopped getting along with my boss But that's just because I live alone, so I'd rather be where something is happening than at my house doing laundry or something
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Calantha
Gryffindor Alumni
My name is Luck, this is my song, I happened by when you were gone
Posts: 4,493
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Post by Calantha on Dec 23, 2003 12:47:39 GMT -5
I don't have a problem with working long hours or whatever, but when a person (my father) has responsiblities to a family (my mother and I) but spends their time at work constantly, I can't help but think that it does some real damage to the family. I tell him a lot that there is more to life than work. It's just a shame that he can't see that very well. I've lived in three cities, one city twice. Although, I'd hardly consider them cities. Okay, DC is a city but the other two are totally towns. I'm not really patriotic about where I live, I guess because each has it's part. But I consider myself a true...Stauntonite because that's where my family is and that's where I was born and that's where I have a lot of fond memories of. Hah, when I lived on the outskirts of DC people never introduced me as a DCian. I was always "This is Sarah, she's from the Blue Ridge." because people don't know where the other two places are but they're along the mountains so they just lump them together. The word Mechanicsville was like haunting me until it dawned on me that my aunt and uncle live in Mechanicsville, Va.
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Post by En on Dec 23, 2003 13:01:04 GMT -5
I don't have a problem with working long hours or whatever, but when a person (my father) has responsiblities to a family (my mother and I) but spends their time at work constantly, I can't help but think that it does some real damage to the family. I tell him a lot that there is more to life than work. It's just a shame that he can't see that very well. 100% agreed... my da did the same thing, and it made me furious. Also, he'd complain whenever I had a school thing I had to do on a Thursday (which was most of the time; the school seemed to think Wednesday was for religion, Friday was out because it's on the weekend, Monday people would be too tired, so every school event was on Tuesday or Thursday), because that was the day he worked until 10pm or later. Did it ever occur to him to work late a different night? No. He just griped and didn't show up. Now he works until 10 like four nights a week, and also works weekends, and then he wonders why his other 2 kids don't bother with him. It's because they're asleep whenever he's home
Ahahaha! I drove to Mechanicsville, VA (while I was out Staunton way visiting friends) and found a highway sign with the name on, and I took a picture of it. One of the very few silly tourist things I've ever done
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Post by Ritsu on Dec 24, 2003 13:20:06 GMT -5
I don't think it's a country/city thing, no. In Portugal at least it's a matter of region, really. North=patriotic; South=not at all. And it isn't only in the small villages, because Porto is the second biggest city of the whole country and people like that are tied to their families and to their roots and all that. Which is sometihng I admire. But I also like not being attached to this country at all, makes me free to move somewhere else without leaving anything behind. Except family, of course.
And yeah, I sympathize with what you're saying Cal. My dad does that too. It's not like he goes to work early, which he doesn't. Ah well, he's boss. Time in our company (family company) is from 9am to 5/5.30 pm. He goes to work at 11, since he's too lazy to get up on time. But then he stays there 'till 8 pm. And he doesn't need to, he just loves being there doing nothing. My dad... well, it's part of his personality, there's nothing I can blame or anything. He's just selfish like that and he's got a weird way to show us that he cares for us. He doesn't hug us, kiss us, nothing. Most of the time I even feel neglected, you know? It seems like sometimes he loves his work and his friends more than he loves me and my mother. OK, not sometimes, all the time, really. Like last week, his bestfriend asked him if he wanted to go with him to this Liquor exhibition that's going on in Lisbon. My dad said:
- Yeah sure, I mean, I had to work but Cardoso's there so I'll leave things to him, no problem.
(Cardoso is the most important person in the company after my dad).
When I need him to pick me up or drive me somewhere or do something when I'm feeling down:
- I can't Rita, I have to work, I have to work.
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Post by En on Dec 27, 2003 7:11:08 GMT -5
I know a guy like that. I work for him. He has four kids, and if they come to the office with a problem, he'll help them; but he 'works' until really late (often playing solitaire on the computer). With him, I think the deal is that he doesn't know how to talk to his kids, but he does know how to do some stuff at his office, like taxes and reading through documents and stuff. So he does what comes easier. Most of us do, so that's why he makes sense to me; but I believe there are a few important (sometimes difficult) things that you have to do before you can do the easy things, and one of them is take part in your family.
Fortunately for me, I can stay late at the office and be with my (TD) family in one window while I'm checking the client database in another ____________________________________________
This year, my IRL family started a new tradition (I hope)... I brought Liam and Liz back to my house to spend the night, and we watched movies until like 4am It was great... Liam hardly ever talks anymore, but as soon as we were in the car he was cracking jokes and talking politics with Liz and me, and there weren't any conservative Republicans hanging around trying to overhear something they could later disinherit us for () or trying to make us agree that gay people are the real problem with the school system ()... we could be ourselves, and it turns out we're actually a lot alike. I never really knew them until recently (they were like 7 and 8 when I left home), so it's awesome to get to talk to them as people.
They raided my bookshelves, too ;D I love it when people do that. And Liz loaned me a book that looks awesome, and they told me about some films and music I want to check out. Now... I wonder if I can work things so Lumie can join us next year... they've met, but never had a chance to talk, but I bet they'd love each other....
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Post by Will on Dec 30, 2003 23:39:40 GMT -5
Oh, wow. That sounds wonderful, En! It’s always great to be around people who understand you which then allows you to drop all guards and flat out be yourself… completely and utterly yourself. Yup, that’s a lovely thing.
Hey, anyone doing anything for the New Year’s Eve, tomorrow? I am going over to my aunt’s house and I can’t wait! Any New Year’s resolutions?
And how was everyone’s holidays? Disappointing? Fantastic? What?
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Post by KoNeko on Jan 2, 2004 6:03:35 GMT -5
I had an alright holiday. We're not overly religious, so it's more of a "get the whole family to come together and sit over a meal and spend time together for one week in the whole year" sort of thing. And I got to see my dogs and stuff, so it was alright. I mean, usually my family drives me nuts and stuff, but
We had Chinese Thanksgiving (or something like that) as well, so that's like the only remotely traditional thing that we do. It's basically one night when you sit together with your family over a meal and you have these special dumplings and this soup thing. I should really find out the significance of it but yeah.
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Post by Lianne on Jan 2, 2004 13:02:27 GMT -5
this year i got to participate in a different tradition. Christmas eve i went to my boyfriends home for their traditional ukrainian christmas eve dinner of ham and perogies and seasoned meat and cabbage rolls. and then opened presents that werent from anyimmediate family etc. it was nice, normally at my house it would have been a regular night.
then christmas day i stayed sand opened presents like we normallty do and then people came for dinner and i left after i had eaten a bit more dinner and went to my bfs home again for dinner with the italian family, it was nice to actually get away form our old traditions and my mother was more than willing. so it was nice to have a bit of change.
we ordered chinese food on new yeard eve too lol and i didnt go out or anythign to the parties that my friendsa were having wither i stayed home and went skating, and looked at the northern lights.
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Post by Will on Jan 2, 2004 19:29:15 GMT -5
Eh. My family is a mix of two different religions so... yeah, it's just a family get together as well. You could say we have a Chinese Thanksgiving. I mean, there was a turkey, mashed potatoes and even yam, but all the other dishes were Chinese food.
We also had a Chinese Christmas party thing. Or something like that on Christmas Eve. That was fun and I got to see the oldest cousin. Back from grad school in the east.
After Christmas, on the 27th, we went up to Lake Tahoe with family friends and that was fun too. We used to go up there all the time with cousins and aunts around this time of year, but now we go our different ways. It's sad. Anyway, all the adults were playing mahjong while the kids pranced around in snow. That got a bit tiring after a while...
New Years was yet another family gathering. I met some of my cousin's buddies, which were wacky and amused me. I had fun with firecrackers and those popper things, but that's about it. Oh karaoke was fun too. I'm a sucker for it...
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Post by En on Jan 3, 2004 12:40:24 GMT -5
The older I get, the more I feel like New Year's Eve is about half a chance for the family adults to blow off steam and half a chance for those of us with no immediate family to be around people of our choosing.
It just so happens that my best mate from college, Fritz, has New Year's Day for a birthday, so every year, as many of the old gang as can get to Chicago head that way. This year, Val came too -- Fritz, Val, Eric, and I having been a sort of collective person with two halves, the Valneric and the Fritznialle, during college Eric didn't come, though.
It was raucous to see Val again; it had been a while. She's a great Ireland lover (spent our junior year at Queens in Belfast). Fritz, who majored in music, is now taking pre-med classes but will make an excellent doctor, so yay.
Bit like hooking up with another family, really, and their game plan was always to start a commune somewhere, which they're still serious about... Not like I wouldn't join if they wanted me, but it's hard for me to see how our lives could weave back together at this point. Then again, if I want to be a professional novelist, it's not like there's any one city or even nation I need to live in, so... yeah, whatever.
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Calantha
Gryffindor Alumni
My name is Luck, this is my song, I happened by when you were gone
Posts: 4,493
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Post by Calantha on Jan 3, 2004 16:38:14 GMT -5
In our family, Christmas is for family and New Year's is for friends. Family is optional. I haven't spent a New Year's Eve at home in a really long time. My feeling is...if I stayed home I probably wouldn't have a lot of fun, so I might as well start the new year enjoying myself. *shrug*
This year I went to visit a friend's relatives and we went to a First Night thing. It was fun...nice to get away for awhile.
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Post by Will on Jan 18, 2004 2:27:37 GMT -5
As a teenager… I’m entitled to have a time of rebellion. I’m sure some of you have gone through it, is currently passing through… or will so in the future. ((somehow that didn't make much sense when I read it a second time...))
I mean, it’s not that I dislike my mother. Quite the opposite, really…. A quick background:
My childhood was… quiet. Literally. The things I remember going through in preschool and kindergarten are not things I’d like to remember, but I do. You know, I can hardly remember anything I did during preschool except that I hated it and I only had one friend…,which is a bit weird knowing that my sister remembers her preschool years perfectly. To the point now; I simply didn’t speak up for myself. I was a loner, if you will, and let everyone tell me what to do.
Kindergarten got a bit better for me only because people actually came up to me and asked if I would like to play with them. That was nice. Though I started to talk more throughout elementary school, I was still known as the nice-smart- and-quiet-girl.
Ah, but a mistake made my just a bit more open to the public. My mom signed my up for voice classes in the community center. When I arrived for class, it turns out that I was enrolled for this drama class. Heehee… I was forced to act in front of people and I was petrified at first. Then my instructor encouraged me and I fell in love with it.
I could finally refuse to do something that I didn’t want to do… but that leads to the current state I’m in. Call it rebellion if you’d like, but I don’t really think that’s it. Growing up in an Asian family which includes an unbelievably clever mother could really set tempers aflame! “No excuses! You did this!” I get accused of not talking to her, which, I guess is true… It’s only because she seems to always take my words and throw it back at my face! She always says the right things to send me into a guild trip! Argh! I know her intentions. I know what she is doing is out of love. I don’t hate her. I do love my mom… a little annoyed, but I still love her none the less… When ever I try to stand up for myself, which she wanted me to do mind you, I’m always the one who ends up nodding my head and keeping my mouth shut.
Alright, enough of my ranting. I guess I just wanted to know how your relationships with parents or guardians are like.
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Calantha
Gryffindor Alumni
My name is Luck, this is my song, I happened by when you were gone
Posts: 4,493
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Post by Calantha on Jan 18, 2004 8:01:04 GMT -5
Huh. Well, to tie in with my relatives...my mom was pretty much ignored as a kid. Her dad was always gone in the army and her mom was really young when she had her. Her mother also suffered from depression a lot after her twin died in a car wreck right after she had my mom. So I think my relationship with my mom is affected a lot by that. Because she was the middle child, she talks a lot about how she played the role of the mediator, and even now, that is the role that she plays. My father as a kid was adored right and left, however, he sincerely has always believed that his younger brother was loved more than he was. So basically, he grew up very spoiled and always thinking he was shorted on how much love he needed. This is also still seen in his personality. I've had issues with my parents. My mother not so much. My mother and I only get into spats when I am in a bad mood with her, which rarely happens. My father and I just don't get along and we fight a lot. I think because of how he was treated by his parents... Which go backs to how his parents were treated. Which goes back to how their parents were treated...and so on. My father's family is wealthy, my mom's isn't. Probably helped to affect how they would turn out. I'm not saying that I have a bad parental life. I do my own lot of things to piss them off. I don't know...there was a quote in a book I recently read, The Five People You Meet In Heaven and it went something like "All parents damage their children." Maybe they do and maybe they don't...but I hardly expect anyone to be perfect. Also, Willow, in St. Mungo's, in the thread titled something with 'Rents in it, the thread, I think, goes in depth about parents, you might want to check it out if you haven't.
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