TDSC III - "Which Way To Go"

[moira]

Author: Smiles
Age: 19
Word count: 3180

Which Way To Go

It’s funny how things force circumstances to change, to seem suddenly quite smaller. I thought the hardest thing I was going to have to face this year was studying for the O.W.L. exams that were to take place at the end of the year.

Instead, the much bigger issue seemed to be figuring out the truth of what was really going on, who to believe, who you can trust, and the implications of it all.

My name is Moira. Hufflepuff is the house I’m in, and I’m a fifth year at Hogwarts. My mum’s a witch and my dad’s a muggle. I grew up in the wizarding world, but because of Dad’s background, we made frequent trips to the muggle side of town and stayed there a lot. I attended muggle schools until I was old enough to be accepted into Hogwarts. My parents wanted me to experience and understand both sides of the world. They taught me that there are always two sides to a story. To never trust just one side completely, because there’s always another explanation from another side that could fill in the missing gaps.

I think they raised me quite well, considering what I was having to face this year in school. Of course, that’s not all there is to tell about me, but that’s another story, needing to be saved for another time.

So ever since I started attending the same school as the famous Harry Potter, rumors of him encountering spectacular circumstances have been, if anything, expected of him. For the most part, they were accepted as truth by most people, because after all, he was The Boy Who Lived. He survived what no one ever survived through before.

What amazing talent he must have to be the youngest seeker in a century! If he could talk to snakes, then why not? If You-Know-Who’s faithful servant, Sirius Black, was after him, it would make frightening sense.

But the events of last year . . . Harry showing up with Cedric dead, Dumbledore telling us that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was back . . . That news was taken with much more scrutiny. It couldn’t be true. Harry symbolized the end of that wizard’s reign. He could not symbolize his return as well.

For a teenager, it was figuring out which truth to believe, when, so suddenly after the TriWizard Tournament ended, there were people everywhere shouting out the promise that You-Know-Who wasn’t back again, that we were still safe. What could have been facts were used as false accusations.

As a student, the only truth I could rely on was what I saw on that field. Logic was telling me that the missing connection between the time of seeing Cedric alive to - to seeing him sprawled out on the ground is that the year before, Harry was supposedly being hunted by You-Know-Who’s devoted servant, Black, who to this day is still at large. Nothing ever happened to Harry that year, but it could be entirely possible that Sirius Black had just planted his time. That he had managed to bring You-Know-Who back, and - and maybe it was through the use of Harry during that time he and Cedric were gone. . .

But holding on to that logic was much harder to do when my head was constantly getting filled with news reports from the Daily Prophet and from other people that Harry Potter was a mentally unstable person. Any and all excuses were used to discredit him.

My parents weren’t very helpful, either. They didn’t know what to believe exactly, so they just chose not to pick sides. To ignore everything and focus on their normal day to day lives.

[moira]

I found myself sort of following after them, choosing not to form any one solid opinion about things – but then school started up, and it was very hard to stay neutral and not talk about it. The swaying vote seemed to be going toward believing that Potter was mentally unstable and only after attention and fame.

I think for the Hufflepuffs especially, it was difficult what to believe exactly. A member of our house died suddenly and mysteriously, and the only link to the cause of his death was the person everyone was saying hadn’t come back.

I admit, even an event like that became clogged and vague in my memory when, over the summer, so much more support and facts - or lack thereof - went to affirming that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was still long gone.

I started to fall into that comfortable assumption. It was easier to go with the flow of popular opinion, and stay on the good side of my friends. And that Umbridge lady, the new teacher for Defense Against The Dark Arts. She in particular seemed keen to exercise that idea. Her speech at the Start of Term feast suggested as much. In a way, it was disturbing to hear her voice, to hear a complete (and rather large and stout) stranger offer comforting words. Something seemed off about her, but when she spoke. . . she had a soothing way of nestling your fears elsewhere. It was almost like falling into some sort of trance when in her presence.

Until the first day of class. I had Defense Against The Dark Arts that day with the Gryffindors. Whatever slumber my mind had fallen into was snapped back awake by the defiant words Harry spoke to Umbridge.

I remember the moments in that class very clearly. Umbridge had set aside a rather boring curriculum of simply reading the chapter in the book, but that was interrupted when Harry’s friend Hermione, also from Gryffindor, raised a question about whether or not we were to practice on how to use defensive spells. That raised many more hands and a lot more questions. At one point I remember Harry saying that we should be prepared for what’s waiting out in the real world. That started a debate between him and Umbridge. She kept insisting that nothing was waiting for them, that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named hadn’t returned, and Harry kept retaliating back, saying that he had . . .

It was a scary debate to watch. Everyone’s attention was focused intently on the battle of truth that no one had heard Harry mention until just now. That’s when Umbridge assigned him detention. She said that it was a lie that the Dark wizard had returned. And that’s when the response Harry gave burned into my memory.

“So, according to you, Cedric Diggory dropped dead of his own accord, did he?”

I had never thought about it in that way before. It made me rethink things. Relive memories. Relive feelings I had buried, because I didn’t want to think about them.

I didn’t know Cedric too well, but I spoke to him occasionally. He was always nice, and whenever I had trouble figuring something out in Transfiguration or whatever other homework I had, he was always really nice about helping me out. He was one of those people that you couldn’t help but like, couldn’t help but feel some sort of immediate connection with.

It really shocked me when he died. He shouldn’t have been the type to snuff it so young. And with the cause of his death being so controversial, he didn’t even receive the kind of recognition he should have deserved.

So my senses were snapped back awake as Harry mentioned Cedric’s death. It snapped others awake too. That incident got around every square inch of Hogwarts. Students everywhere, and even some teachers, were talking about what Harry said. Like me, his words had shaken some people up, made them rethink things. For others, it was evidence that Harry really had gone mental.

[moira]

One day as I was heading to Herbology, Zacharias Smith was ahead of me, walking with a red headed girl from Gryffindor. I overheard him say to her, “So you know Harry Potter, right? You’re friends with him and all?”

The girl seemed to tense a bit by the question, and when she responded, her voice seemed a bit guarded. “Yeah, I am. Why?”

“Do you believe him? How he says that You-Know-Who is back?”

“Yes.”

“That he fought him and everything?”

A pause, then a forceful, “Yes.”

“Oh come off it! Has he told you what happened last year during the Triwizard Tournament?”

“Not really. . .”

“Then how can you believe him? Just because he’s famous and survived him before doesn’t mean that he’s going to be that lucky again. How can you honestly believe that he fought him and won, again?!”

The girl was thoughtful for a moment. “I have my reasons,” she stated softly.

Zach made a snort. “Everyone has their reasons, but they don’t seem to be too keen on telling them in any specific detail. I mean, blimey Ginny! If you have your reasons, why are you afraid to state them?”

Ginny stopped in her tracks. Zach was caught off guard and stopped a few paces ahead, then backtracked and stood facing her. Enraptured in the conversation, I stopped, bent down, and pretended to be looking for something in my school bag.

“Because people like you still wouldn’t take it with any ounce of credibility. You’d gobble it up, then spit it back out, looking for something else that would satisfy your curiosity. I had some pretty unbelievable stuff happen to me in my second year that Harry helped me out with, so I know he isn’t a liar.”

“What kind of – ”

”Don’t ask, because I’m not going to say. You need to figure out what you want to believe first before you go looking for answers. So did you ever get done with that awful potions essay? I swear, it’s like Snape has set a personal goal to make sure all of us fail his class. He’s not teaching. He’s booby trapping.” At the sudden change of topic, Ginny started up walking again, and Zach stumbled a few steps catching up to her, once again caught off guard at her smooth change of pace and mood.

That conversation hit me hard. I knew that Zach was generally a rather skeptical person who always liked to question things, and in fact, he was one of those who, whenever I talked to, always seemed to push me to believe whatever opinion he himself had. But that Ginny girl. . . She knew what she believed, contrary to popular belief, and though she was rather reserved about giving details about her opinion, she was not afraid to let it be known. She sounded confident.

I really respected that.

Later on that day in the Hufflepuff common room I found Hannah Abbot doing some homework. She and I shared similar thoughts regarding You-Know-Who, and what to make of all the rumors and “truths.” I recounted to her the conversation I had heard with Zach and Ginny. It affected her the same way it did me. She sat there for a few minutes, just thinking about things.

“I’ve seen Ginny hang around with Hermione a few times, and we all know that she’s friends with Harry and believes him. She’s said similar things to people when they’ve tried to get information out of her. Hermione’s really smart, you know? She’s really logical. And Ginny seems to carry a lot of confidence with her.” Hannah paused a minute, seeming to try and
piece something together. “If they don’t seem to regard Harry as having gone nutty, maybe that’s the closest bit of information we have to go on, perhaps. And with what you told me Ginny said, I think she’s got something. We’ve got to figure out what we want to believe first, and then maybe we can go looking for evidence to support that.”

[moira]

Pretty soon after that things at Hogwarts became more peculiar, with Professor Umbridge being made the Hogwarts High Inquisitor, giving her basically as much power as the Headmaster, Professor Dumbledore. It was outrageous. Why on earth did the Ministry of Magic feel threatened enough by the so-called standards of Hogwarts to give a teacher (who was still a part of the ministry, no less) power to inspect and judge the performance of each teacher at the school? What were they afraid would happen?

What made things even more suspicious was another outbreak of anger that Harry had with Umbridge while in Defense Against the Dark Arts with the mention of You-Know-Who. He was immediately given detention.

Again, the same question came to my mind. What was the ministry afraid of? Umbridge seemed especially keen on not letting Harry say too much, which meant that if he and what he had to say was what they were afraid of, then something was definitely up, and it wasn’t Potter that was lying. . .

At the same time, You-Know-Who was the biggest threat the wizarding world had ever faced, and to make as bold a statement as to say that the Dark wizard’s come back, that he’s back in power. . . it would make sense to use extreme methods to ensure that, if it really wasn’t true, that no mass hysteria be provoked. If the situation could be handled and taken care of within the confines of the school, then there would be no need to worry that things could carry much farther than that. Don’t scare the public to death if it really was all just a hoax.

Blimey, what to believe?! Both sides offered sensible reasons. But Cedric’s death, though. Harry’s words.

“So, according to you, Cedric Diggory dropped dead of his own accord, did he?”

Seeing Cedric alive, and then a few hours later, appearing with Harry, sprawled on the ground. . . That was the missing link that needed to be filled.



A couple weeks later, I sat down next to Hannah and Ernie at the Hufflepuff table toward the end of lunch, taking the spot that Zach had just been using.

“Moira! Oh, you just missed her,” said Hannah. “Hermione from Gryffindor was just here. She had some – engaging things to say. I think you’d be interested.”

“That’s nice Hannah," I responded hurriedly, half listening. "Do you think you could tell me later, though? I’m in a rush. I have to eat real quick and then dash off to Arithmancy – ”

Hannah leaned in close and said softly, “What do you want to believe?”

That completely caught me off guard. “What?” I asked, bewildered.

“Harry’s thinking of starting up a secret class and teaching us Defense Against the Dark Arts spells since Umbridge won’t do a bloody thing.” Ernie cut in, leaning close and talking in a low voice as well.

I raised my eyebrows. “He’s gonna teach us? He really knows that much?”

“Well, it would make sense that he’s pretty good, doesn’t it? With being entered into the Triwizard Tournament last year and all. You saw him in all of those events. Look at how he fought his way through that maze. And calling in his broom to use against that dragon? He’s brilliant.”

“Well, yeah. . . that’s true. And Defense Against the Dark Arts is so boring with Umbridge, we aren’t doing anything.”

“Exactly,” Hannah cut in. “Plus Hermoine says he’s got some things he wants to say. So if you want to decide who to believe once and for all, this is it. Sound interested at all?”

“Well,” I hesitated. “Do I have to decide that right now?”

“No, there’s gonna be a meeting on the next Hogmseade trip in a place called the Hog’s Head. We’ll hear more about it then, with whatever Harry’s got to say.”

I paused a moment, thinking about things. After a minute or two, I said “Hmm. . . okay, yeah. I’ll come. See what he has to say, what it’s all about.”

[moira]

---

The Hogsmeade trip came up soon, and before I knew it, I was sitting in the Hog’s Head with Hannah, Ernie, Zach, Hermione, Ginny, Harry, and quite a few other students, hearing Hermione talking about taking matters into our own hands and seriously studying Defense Against the Dark Arts. Actually practicing how to defend ourselves, and then for the first time, said with bold words, “Because Lord Voldemort is back.”

It was what people had anticipated to hear about, but the shock was still there.

Zach had (predictably) been the first to raise an objection. “Where’s the Proof You-Know-Who’s back?” he had demanded.

Like Ginny, and like Hermione, Harry gave the same direct but indirect answer. “I saw him. But Dumbledore told the whole school what happened last year, and if you didn’t believe him, you don’t believe me, and I’m not wasting an afternoon trying to convince anyone.”

There was a debate that went back and forth between him and Zach for a bit until some of Harry’s friends cut in and saved him from Zach’s scrutiny.

I’m not wasting an afternoon trying to convince anyone. . .

Hermione went on to talk about a possible theory to why Umbridge was refusing to train people in Defense Against the Dark Arts. It was possible that she felt Dumbledore could use the students in the school as some kind of private army to mobilize against the Ministry.

My mind brought me back to what my parents had taught me. That there were always two sides to a story. Both sides were needed to make the information complete.

There was the Muggle world, who largely discredited the existence of witches and wizards. Of witchcraft. It was a part of the past, but has stayed there, and no longer remains. There were only magic tricks. Things that could be explained using science and logic.

And then there was the wizarding world, where it really did exist, where true magic was real, and logic had a much broader horizon. It was another piece of the story that fit, and made things more complete. The larger percentage of the world discredited its existence, but here it lies, and it's quite tangible.

The Ministry. Umbridge. They represented one side of the story. The more widely accepted story that You-Know-Who was part of our past, has stayed there, and will not, nor has he, come back. But the missing link – it’s Harry Potter. It’s the experiences he’s claimed to
have, but with no solid proof. They seem too magical, too far-fetched. . . but maybe not. Maybe they’re just as real, but have a broader horizon of logic that people can’t see yet.


The meeting adjourned with a piece of paper we were to sign if we wanted to have Defense Lessons and tell absolutely no one what we were doing. To accept the broader horizon, and prepare for the mysteries it had yet to reveal.

I had a decision to make. I had an option. What did I want to believe? Which way did I want to go?

“Moira? Moira?”

“Huh?” I said, snapping out of my thoughts.

Hermione was looking at me, the paper in front of me on the table. “Are you going to sign?” she asked.

I looked at the paper with some of the names already written on it. The headline read Dumbledore’s Army. I paused. Took a breath.

“Yeah,” I said. “Yeah, I’ll sign.”

I picked up the pen, signed my name, and handed it to Zach.

[KoNeko]

Yay Smiles! I really liked how you related what your parents told you to the situation at hand and stuff. It's like, a link between the past and present and you've integrated them well.

I also like how you've written yourself into the HP story. We haven't had any of those yet, so that's really cooll And look at all those little Hufflpuffs.

[hermoine]

Weyhey! I like this! You made it interesting, especially with the link.

AND, although you put yourself in the story, it was still highly interesting and enthusiastic, that it doesn't sound like one of those Mary Sue stories.

Well done!

[moira]

Thanks Ko and Herm. I thought it would be interesting to write about how much of a challenge it would be for the other Hogwarts students to make a choice about believing what was really going on, and how they would go about making their choices.

Thanks for the comments, I really appreciate them!

[Sphi]

Nice story, Moira! It really made me wish I had read this right after reading OotP so that all the details of the book would still be in my mind. Hehe.

Your rhetoric is really strong, which I thought really completed the piece. In general, I liked how you went through pretty much the whole OotP plot but in a Hufflepuff's POV. I especially liked the ending, when you're realizing the two sides of the story (Muggle vs. Magic, Ministry vs. Harry). And your final choice, of course. Very cool.

Have you ever read Life of Pi? I just read it this summer, and so many parts of your story reminded me of it, especially lines like...

You know how I have "believing in the better story" in my sig? I put it there after reading Life of Pi, but after reading your story, I realized it could fit for HP, too, since they're both about having faith and figuring out what to believe in. Great job, Moira.

[moira]

*blushes* Thanks, Silver:) No, I haven't read Life of Pi, but you've just inspired me to go try and read it! Having two sides to a story is a philosophy of mine I've always tried to follow. Your story isn't complete without knowing and understanding the other side of things, such as when fights/disagreements/debates occur.

Thanks so much for your comments! From a writer's perspective, it's really cool when readers pick up on the tiny little details that we've left, hoping to be discovered in the way that we mean them. I'm sure you can definitely relate:)