Post by Fantasia on Aug 29, 2004 17:48:34 GMT -5
Fantasia - 13 years young
"Famous Last Words"
795 word count
Ok, I'm really sorry, but for some reason I can't get it to show up indented. Hope it won't count against me.
The Malfoy Mansion stood alone on a hill, overlooking an abandoned street. The air was thick with the smell of decay. The houses on the small drive, once bright and well kept, were now broken and dank. Drunken shouts and cat-calls jarred loudly against the screams of frightened people. No light shone on the street, save a thin shaft of moonlight nearly lost to the overcast sky. A group of men and women stumbled around, kicking in windows and painting words on the walls. Beer cans littered the gutters, and the front yards were strewn with trash. A single rat scuttled along the roads. The earth held its breath.
Nothing stirred on top of the hill. No light shone from within the grand house. Only the same solitary rat lingered on the ancient knoll. Ancient, indeed. The dark mansion loomed over the street, as if supported by some magic. The very walls spoke of age and anger. The chambers within groaned at the horrors of what they had seen. And yet, the three people seated in the drawing room paid no heed. The house creaked and moaned beneath their very feet, but even the man with watery eyes and quivering whiskers, who jumped at the shadows cast by the fire, did not turn a hair. Hesitantly, he spoke.
“M-my Lord, I have . . . w-wonderful news for you, M-my Lord. The Potters! I know where they are in h-h-hiding.”
The man seated closest to the fire did not turn to face the speaker. He was slowly fingering a wooden rod, and spoke with a soft malice that made the fire sputter.
“Again you tell me such tales, Peter? Once more you will attempt to convince me that, by pretending to be faithful to Lily and James, you will gain access to their innermost secrets and weaknesses?” The cloaked figure’s voice rose forcefully, making Peter to tremble.“You will continue to persuade me that tomorrow you’ll get in for sure, just one more day and you’ll be able to deliver them to me? JUST ONE MORE DAY, PETER?” The man was screaming now. Sparks issued from the tip of his wand, coming dangerously close to his billowing cloak. But he merely wiped them away. His voice softened again, and he spoke lightly to the trembling figure, almost playfully. He spoke like a cat to a mouse in its paws.
“Please, Peter. Tell me what you know about the Potters.” He nodded cordially to the third man, who had thus far remained silent. His hair was brilliantly blonde and his eyes were like glittering pieces of ice. Or perhaps that was just the fire. . .
The man continued. “I’m sure Mr. Malfoy here will be happy to investigate any information you may have to give me. He will also be more than willing to eliminate those unworthy of Lord Voldemort’s protection. . .won’t you, Lucius?”
The man called Lucius flinched at the name, and Peter jumped right into the fireplace. He quickly stamped out the little flames on his cloak and glanced, terrified, up at Lucius.
Mr. Malfoy gave a small bow and replied in an oily voice, “But of course, Master. I will serve the Dark Lord.”
He brushed his forearm absently. Peter was shaking like a leaf, but went on after a moment of silence.
“My L-lord. . .I have been made the P-p-potter’s Secret Keeper!”
He finished in a note of triumph. Lord Voldemort froze, hardly daring to breathe.
“Is this true, Wormtail? Have your efforts finally paid off?”
“Yes, My Lord!” Peter responded gleefully. “They are hiding in Godric’s Hollow, I can show you the very house!”
“Yes, yes, they would hide in a place named after Gryffindor, the cliched fools. . .” muttered the cloaked wizard to himself. “But is my dear Peter Pettigrew lying?” He turned to face Wormtail sharply, his face contorted in thought. His skin was ghostly pale, and he was losing the good features he once knew in Hogwarts.
In a moment Peter was down on all fours, gasping for air, but Voldemort didn’t seem to care. A cold smile was slowly growing at his lips.
“You do not lie to me, Peter...Malfoy!” he uttered sharply. “Leave me.”
Lucius bowed and had retreated into the bowels of his dark mansion in an instant.
“Wormtail-go ahead to Godric’s hollow. Go in your true form, my friend. I shall meet you there.” With a flash of light, Peter had vanished as well, and Voldemort was left alone.
“So. . .” he whispered to himself. “It shall happen tonight. . .”
The moon rose higher into the sky, casting a beam upon the grassy knoll. Nothing moved on the baneful hill, save a small rat, running toward the horizon.
"Famous Last Words"
795 word count
Ok, I'm really sorry, but for some reason I can't get it to show up indented. Hope it won't count against me.
The Malfoy Mansion stood alone on a hill, overlooking an abandoned street. The air was thick with the smell of decay. The houses on the small drive, once bright and well kept, were now broken and dank. Drunken shouts and cat-calls jarred loudly against the screams of frightened people. No light shone on the street, save a thin shaft of moonlight nearly lost to the overcast sky. A group of men and women stumbled around, kicking in windows and painting words on the walls. Beer cans littered the gutters, and the front yards were strewn with trash. A single rat scuttled along the roads. The earth held its breath.
Nothing stirred on top of the hill. No light shone from within the grand house. Only the same solitary rat lingered on the ancient knoll. Ancient, indeed. The dark mansion loomed over the street, as if supported by some magic. The very walls spoke of age and anger. The chambers within groaned at the horrors of what they had seen. And yet, the three people seated in the drawing room paid no heed. The house creaked and moaned beneath their very feet, but even the man with watery eyes and quivering whiskers, who jumped at the shadows cast by the fire, did not turn a hair. Hesitantly, he spoke.
“M-my Lord, I have . . . w-wonderful news for you, M-my Lord. The Potters! I know where they are in h-h-hiding.”
The man seated closest to the fire did not turn to face the speaker. He was slowly fingering a wooden rod, and spoke with a soft malice that made the fire sputter.
“Again you tell me such tales, Peter? Once more you will attempt to convince me that, by pretending to be faithful to Lily and James, you will gain access to their innermost secrets and weaknesses?” The cloaked figure’s voice rose forcefully, making Peter to tremble.“You will continue to persuade me that tomorrow you’ll get in for sure, just one more day and you’ll be able to deliver them to me? JUST ONE MORE DAY, PETER?” The man was screaming now. Sparks issued from the tip of his wand, coming dangerously close to his billowing cloak. But he merely wiped them away. His voice softened again, and he spoke lightly to the trembling figure, almost playfully. He spoke like a cat to a mouse in its paws.
“Please, Peter. Tell me what you know about the Potters.” He nodded cordially to the third man, who had thus far remained silent. His hair was brilliantly blonde and his eyes were like glittering pieces of ice. Or perhaps that was just the fire. . .
The man continued. “I’m sure Mr. Malfoy here will be happy to investigate any information you may have to give me. He will also be more than willing to eliminate those unworthy of Lord Voldemort’s protection. . .won’t you, Lucius?”
The man called Lucius flinched at the name, and Peter jumped right into the fireplace. He quickly stamped out the little flames on his cloak and glanced, terrified, up at Lucius.
Mr. Malfoy gave a small bow and replied in an oily voice, “But of course, Master. I will serve the Dark Lord.”
He brushed his forearm absently. Peter was shaking like a leaf, but went on after a moment of silence.
“My L-lord. . .I have been made the P-p-potter’s Secret Keeper!”
He finished in a note of triumph. Lord Voldemort froze, hardly daring to breathe.
“Is this true, Wormtail? Have your efforts finally paid off?”
“Yes, My Lord!” Peter responded gleefully. “They are hiding in Godric’s Hollow, I can show you the very house!”
“Yes, yes, they would hide in a place named after Gryffindor, the cliched fools. . .” muttered the cloaked wizard to himself. “But is my dear Peter Pettigrew lying?” He turned to face Wormtail sharply, his face contorted in thought. His skin was ghostly pale, and he was losing the good features he once knew in Hogwarts.
In a moment Peter was down on all fours, gasping for air, but Voldemort didn’t seem to care. A cold smile was slowly growing at his lips.
“You do not lie to me, Peter...Malfoy!” he uttered sharply. “Leave me.”
Lucius bowed and had retreated into the bowels of his dark mansion in an instant.
“Wormtail-go ahead to Godric’s hollow. Go in your true form, my friend. I shall meet you there.” With a flash of light, Peter had vanished as well, and Voldemort was left alone.
“So. . .” he whispered to himself. “It shall happen tonight. . .”
The moon rose higher into the sky, casting a beam upon the grassy knoll. Nothing moved on the baneful hill, save a small rat, running toward the horizon.
Wonderful, really love the dialougue and details. Question though...what happened to your other fanfic?
*hugs*
Thanks Neko! I'll fix that. 
