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Post by hermoine on Mar 4, 2004 11:51:26 GMT -5
At my school we're organising this activity for the Olympic Games and it's called Olympic Week. My English teacher wants us to write a poem in connection with the Olympics. I've written one about Ice Skating, although I haven't found a name for it yet(suggestions mostly appreciated! thanks) and well here it is:
A sweet jingle, a graceful glide, and it seems they’re free of all the problems in this world. She gently clasps the hand of thee, twirls around now one, two, three. It seems she’s fair young Juliet, a perfect bride to be, flying on the bluish ice, rushing straight to see if young Romeo is there, looking down from the tree.
There is no doubt, they are less than light, they circle-glide about with dazzling delight. A tender swan. It seems she’s taken flight like a snowy dove in the dark of the night. In his arms she rests with not a fight. It’s such a wonderful and splendid sight.
As the song slowly did end, the two embraced, the judges did send, high marks the couple faced.
So what do you guys think?
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Emma
Ravenclaw Alumni
Posts: 2,871
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Post by Emma on Mar 4, 2004 11:53:54 GMT -5
I've already said this, but I'll say it again anyway
It's lovely, really, really nice!!
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Post by Potter723 on Mar 4, 2004 12:03:50 GMT -5
cherry, thats...great! nice mixture of old, and new..its, very good!
i see you used my idea a bit in there
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Emma
Ravenclaw Alumni
Posts: 2,871
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Post by Emma on Mar 4, 2004 12:25:34 GMT -5
I don't know any technical terms, but all I know is it's fantastic, and I really like the metaphors, when you talked about the like swans and doves.........
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Post by claretta "happy and not" on Mar 4, 2004 13:38:37 GMT -5
I think it's really good! not like us!
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Post by hermoine on Mar 8, 2004 11:23:49 GMT -5
Thanks for your feedback you guys. Much appreciated!
Finally, after abotu a week of confused search I've found a title. Might not be very good true, but I have to submit it tomorrow, and that's the best title that has passed through my weird head: Iceperean Delight.
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Emma
Ravenclaw Alumni
Posts: 2,871
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Post by Emma on Mar 8, 2004 13:19:15 GMT -5
As I've said though PM........Perfect!!
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Post by claretta "happy and not" on Mar 8, 2004 13:38:30 GMT -5
You chose a very nice name for this poem at last!
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Emma
Ravenclaw Alumni
Posts: 2,871
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Post by Emma on Mar 8, 2004 13:42:03 GMT -5
I think we all agree with that...... ;D
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Post by RainFrost on Mar 21, 2004 22:25:09 GMT -5
Its really cool. I like how it flows gracefully (just like an ice-skater) Yous hould definitley get an A on it.
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Emma
Ravenclaw Alumni
Posts: 2,871
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Post by Emma on Mar 22, 2004 12:40:23 GMT -5
CONGRATULATIONS
We knew you would do it!!
(If you don't have a clue what I on about, she won!!!)
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Post by claretta "happy and not" on Mar 22, 2004 12:41:17 GMT -5
Say well done to cherry because she won the poetry competition!!
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Post by RainFrost on Mar 22, 2004 21:23:08 GMT -5
You won a Poetry Contest? Thats great! You definitley deserved it!
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Post by claretta "happy and not" on Mar 23, 2004 15:24:49 GMT -5
yes she really does!!!
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Emma
Ravenclaw Alumni
Posts: 2,871
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Post by Emma on Mar 24, 2004 11:12:02 GMT -5
I argee, It's a fantastic poem *pat's Cherry on the back* Well done
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