How The Stag Got Its Antlers

[Jenny's Back!]

Okay. Here's the deal. I'm guessing that ya'all have read The Order Of The Phenoix (sp) already... and the Chap. about the Pensive (sp) got me really inspired. I wrote this fan fic because I felt like writting about James and that whole Gang... so here it is!


It was a hot spring day at Hogwarts, as James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and a group of girls walked across the grounds over to the lake. There, all the girls were giggling at a joke Sirius had just told, but it was as if James was in another world. Lupin was not sure whether he was worrying about-facing Slytherin today for the last time, or if it was Lily Evans. It turned out to be easy enough to figure that one out. All you had to do was follow James’ gaze, and it led right across the lake to a group of girls that Lily was apart of. Lily had long, thick, red hair, which she had pulled back in a ponytail today. How James longed to look into her beautiful green eyes. He just loved their almond-shape.
All of the guys had a nickname of course. James was known as Prongs among the guys. Sirius was known as Padfoot, Peter as Wormtail. Lupin was known as Moony. Of course, there is a good explanation of all of this. Lupin was a werewolf, and since they were all best friends, they became illegal, unregistered Animagus’ so that they could be around Lupin during the full moon, and not be at risk of him biting them. Sirius was a black dog, Peter was a rat, and James was a stag. That is how they got their nicknames, of course.
It was their sixth year at Hogwarts and it was almost over. They couldn’t wait to leave Hogwarts. They have been waiting for this since they came to Hogwarts. Course, James did not want to leave Hogwarts yet. He did not want to leave until he had Lily.

“Hey, Prongs! Are you going to come over here or are you gonna waste your time daydreaming about Evans?” Said Padfoot mockingly.
James looked at Sirius with a murderous look then said, “I guess your right, but I think I really may be too conceited.”
“Cheer up, Prongs!” said Moony, “It’s almost a full moon, you know.” Then he winked at James, “and plus, here comes Snivellus.”

An evil grin came across James’ face but then it faded. “I can’t,” he said.
“Even if you can’t, I can!” said Sirius, and before James could stop him, Sirius yelled, “Hey Snivellus! Come over here. We have a surprise for you!” Severus looked at them and shot them a nasty look, and then he walked away, but before he could get out of range, Sirius had pulled out his wand and yelled, “STUPEFY!” and Severus was stunned. Then Sirius walked over and said “Ennervate” and quickly grabbed Snape by his robes and then used the levitation spell and Snape rose into the air, while kicking and screaming. At that moment Wormtail yelled “SILENCIO!” and Severus stopped screaming.
“Let him go, Padfoot!” said James, as he saw Lily walking over.
“But, Prongs, that would ruin all the fun, and plus, I’m bored! I already know everything I need to know for the exams!” complained Sirius.


“I SAID LET HIM GO!” demanded James, “or I’ll stun you!”
“You wouldn’t!”
“Oh yes I would! And you know it.” Threatened James.
“But, James, we were only having a little fun with Snivellus.” Insisted Wormtail. But by then James had lost his temper.
“EXPELLIARMUS!” yelled James, and Sirius’ wand flew ten feet away from him, and Snape fell to the ground. Then before Peter could do anything, he heard James’ voice scream “LOCOMOTOR MORTIS!” and his legs were stuck together. James took the Silencing charm off Snape, and then Severus looked around, then to James and said, “ARE YOU INSANE?!” then began to walk away.
“You’re welcome…” said James sarcastically, and walked away towards his dorm room, but Moony was chasing after him.
“James! James!” Moony yelled, “DUDE! JAMES! Sirius is really shocked.” He said as he caught up to James. “He didn’t think you’d actually do anything.”
“Well, as you said, he didn’t think… He should have listened to me…” said James sourly.
“You’re right… He DIDN’T think. That was the problem He didn’t stop and think about what he was doing. He has hung around you for so long, and you two have always made fun and done things to Snivellus.” Said Lupin, but James scowled at him and Lupin amended his last statement, “sorry! I meant Severus, not Snivellus. But since when have you been so sour on this subject? You have always thought it was fun…”
“I grew up, Moony. I grew up. I mean, don’t you see how childish this is? You’re a prefect… you should know. First of all, it is completely against the rules. And secondly… It’s not as fun anymore. I have my mind on other things now. I have lost interest in torturing Severus…” explained James,
“And you have gained interest in Lily, correct?” asked Lupin.
“James…” said a voice quietly behind them, but they both knew whom it was, “listen man, I’m sorry. You have no idea how bad we feel.”
“Speak for yourself, Sirius! You didn’t have your legs locked together!” said Peter.
“Well then, you don’t know how bad I feel. I’m sorry dude. I just don’t get all of these new things going on. I mean, you used to love playing with… err. What’s his real name?” said Sirius.
“It’s Severus… Severus Snape.” Said James, “and don’t forget it!”
“Uh, yeah, Severus. I just don’t get why all of a sudden we can’t do anything to him. It’s crazy, man!”
“Well…” said James a little uneasily, “I’m trying to be more mature. You said it yourself, read between the lines! Lily thinks I’m conceited, and I need to show her that I’m not as conceited as she thinks. I really like her, Sirius.” Explained James, but all of a sudden a young girl walked up behind them and said, “Well, James Potter, you sure have an odd way of showing it, all right! First fooling around with Snivellus, and NOW… turning your wand on your best friends! Who knows, next you could be turning it on me! You honestly scare me!” Lily said the continued to walk off towards the library.

[Jenny's Back!]

“Wow…” Peter’s mouth fell open, “that was really deep. Maybe the girl is right, James. You never know who you could turn your wand on next.” He finished a little uneasily.
James walked over to the picture of the Fat Lady, and sunk down onto the floor next to the picture. “But I would never do anything to hurt Lily… I love her!” then James realized what he had just said and covered his mouth, but Sirius, Lupin, and Peter had all heard him as clear as day.
No one spoke until Sirius decided to change the subject in a successful attempt to ease the tension. “So, James, don’t you think we should go to lunch, so you’ll have energy for the big match today? I mean, the seeker is the most important part in a game of quidditch.”
“Yeah, of course, Sirius! Let’s go James,” said Remus, “Isn’t that a wonderful idea Peter? Food is very good. Especially since it’s almost the full moon, and I’ll be my ‘other’ self soon.” But James didn’t want food.
“You three go ahead… I’ll catch up with you later, I promise.” Said James.
“If you’re sure.” said Peter, “okay. But make sure you get SOMETHING to eat before the match.”
“I promise.” said James, and with that the three of them walked off leaving James by himself.
“Why the long face, my dear?” asked the Fat Lady as Sirius, Peter, and Remus walked away.
“Oh, nothing, it’s just a girl. Why are they so complicated?” asked James.
“Well, that’s a hard question to answer, even for a girl, as I am. It is very difficult to say. Anyways, whom is this girl that has you so down?” said the Fat Lady.
“Her name is Lily. Lily Evans. She has the prettiest red hair and beautiful almond-shaped green eyes. And her smile! She is everything I could ever hope for! Well,” James said, “ALMOST everything. She thinks I’m a conceited jerk.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure of that…” said a shy voice behind them. James turned around. “Lily!” James blushed as he said this then looked down. “How…how long have you been, uh… standing three? I mean, how much did you hear?”
“Oh… She’s been standing there about as long as it took you to tell me her name. She walked in just as you said her name and stopped in her tracks.” Explained the Fat Lady. James bit his lip and continued to look down, but Lily walked over to him and pushed his chin up.
“I never knew you felt this way, James.” Said Lily, “I mean, I knew you were always showing off and asking me to go out with you, but I thought that you wanted me to be a trophy… I never knew you actually, really, truly cared.”
“Well, I do, Lily. I really, actually, truly care about you. I’d never do anything to hurt you. I WOULD severely hurt anyone who tried to hurt you, even if it was one of my closest friends. When Severus called you a you-know-what last year, it tore me apart to hear anyone talk to you that way. I wanted to curse him so bad, but you had told me to let him go so I did. If it wasn’t for you, I probably wouldn’t have stopped doing it.” Explained James.
“Wow… You aren’t as conceited as I thought, James Potter,” said Lily.
“Listen, Lily. I have to go eat before the match tonight, but if you will… wait for me outside of our changing room area after the match, and walk back to the castle with Me.” pleaded James.
“Of course I will, Prongs.” Lily said teasingly.
“Alright. I’ll see you later Lily.” James said as a huge smile came across his face and he left her, and made his way down to the Great Hall, smiling the whole time.

“Hey James! What’s up with the goofy look on your face?” said Moony questionally.
“Yeah,” added Sirius, “did someone put a Cheering charm on you or something?”
“Nah… But guess who talked to me!” said James.
“Who? Dumbledore?” joked Peter.
“No. Lily! She’s meeting me after the match and walking me back to the castle!”
“Wow. How did you pull that one off? Did you put her under the Imperius Curse or something?” said Sirius, sounding a little too serious.
“Of course not! I would NEVER do anything to hurt Lily! I told you all that!” said James, rather annoyed.
“We know. Padfoot was only kidding, James.” Said Lupin.
“Well, it wasn’t a funny joke. I mean, if someone had actually heard you saying something about me using an Unforgivable Curse, I could get in major trouble.” scolded James.
“Sorry, dude.” Said Sirius.
“But seriously! How did you get her to talk to you, let alone meet you after the match and spend even more time around you?” questioned Wormtail.
“Well, it’s all really simple. I was talking to the Fat Lady, and well, she kind of overheard me talking about how much I care about her, and so she confronted me about it, and we talked things over. And that was that.” replied James.
“Wicked!” said Wormtail.
“Awesome, James.” Said Lupin.
“Cool. I’m err—happy for you, James.” Said Sirius a little shaky.
“What’s the matter, Padfoot?”
“Oh, nothing Moony.” Replied Sirius, “It’s just. Doesn’t this seem a little weird to you? All of a sudden, when James here has been chasing after Lily, and NOW despite the fact that Lily used to hate James, now she is going to meet him after the Quidditch match, and it seems that they are going to be with each other a lot, and maybe even be with each other over the summer! Soon enough he’ll probably ditch us during full moons too!” said Sirius, as a vein was popping out of his arm.
“Whoa! Slow down, Sirius. You know damn right that I would never leave you during full moons! That is one thing I would never give up! It’s our time to be alone without having to worry about classes, and Snape interfering.” Said James.
“Calm down, both of you! You are supposed to be best friends, not biting each other’s heads off!” said Lupin, “I mean, GOD! You two have been down each other’s throats all day! I for one am sick of it. I don’t know where you got the idea that James was going to ditch us for Lily, but I for one know that that is not going to happen. I trust James totally. And so should you, Sirius.”
“ I know. It’s just… all happening too fast. First she can’t stand him, now they are almost going out and it feels like I’m loosing James.” Said Sirius.

[Jenny's Back!]

“Dude, you can’t get rid of me that easily! You should know that by now.” James assured Sirius.
“Aw, man!” said Peter jokingly, “I was hoping…” then he laughed sternly, and then Lupin looked at him.
“You are really strange, Wormtail.”
“Yeah. Are you just figuring that out, Remus?” asked Sirius.
“Nah, I’ve known it since he first started to go on about the ‘horses’ pilling the carriages that bring us up to the castle. And that was only our second year.” replied Lupin.
“Yeah! I still haven’t seen them!” said James thoughtfully.
“I’m not crazy! I’m telling you,” said Wormtail crossing his arms over his chest.
“We believe you.” Said James as he shoved a spoonful of mashed potatoes into his mouth and reached for a roll.
“Hey, slow down! You’re going to eat so much; you’ll make yourself sick! And that can’t happen! We only have one Seeker! And even if we did have another one, he or she wouldn’t be anywhere near as good as you are!” said Sirius.
“Whatever.” Said James in between bites, “I’m hungry, and you’re the one who said I needed to eat!”
“Well, since when have you listened to him?” asked Lupin.
“Yeah! Since when have you listened to me—HEY! That’s not funny, Moony!” Sirius said as he gave Remus a nasty look.

James had finally finished eating and he went back towards the Fat Lady’s portrait, and all of a sudden he heard a loud bang. He looked around and noticed that a book had fallen off the desk. ‘But how?’ he thought. James walked over to it and saw that it was someone’s Defense Against the Dark Arts book. It was obviously a fifth-year book, because he had had the same book the previous year. He decided to bring it to the common room with him because, using logic, he figured it had to be a Gryffindor’s because it was left right outside the entrance to the common room. So, James took the book, and walked over to the portrait of the Fat Lady.
“Password?” asked the Fat Lady.
“Orchideois” replied James, and the Fat Lady allowed him in. James left a notice on the board that said “Fifth Year Defense Against the Dark Arts book found. If yours, contact James Potter.” And then he went up to his dorm room, which he shared with his best friends, and one other boy that they had never paid much attention to. In fact, they didn’t even know his name.

James sat down on his bed and sighed. He was all excited about the match coming up. Dumbledore would be the announcer of course, and James knew it would be an easy match. Slytherin was very sloppy this year. Their keeper wasn’t good at all, and one of their Beaters got hit with the Bludger more than he hit it with his Beater Stick. James couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of that. Their Seeker wasn’t bad, but he was no match for James, and everyone knew it. One of Slytherin’s Chasers wasn’t wonderful, but he was okay. She had a tendency to drop the Quaffle when it was thrown to him. James knew today would be easy. Finally, James pulled himself together, and put the missing book into his trunk, and then went down to the Quidditch field.
On the way down, James ran into Lily again.
“Hey James!” shouted Lily.
“Hi, Lily. This is a pleasant surprise.” James said as a smile came across his face.
“Good luck. Although you won’t need it.” Said Lily, then she hugged James, and kissed his cheek then ran off towards the stands. James just stood there in shock. He gently touched his cheek, then shook his head and headed towards the changing room. There, the team captain gave them a short pep talk, and then it was time for them to go out onto the field. They all flew out, and then landed. The referee said, “On my count… One—Two –Three!” and the players all kicked off and the game had begun. Everybody could hear Dumbledore’s voice booming throughout the field, “And Slytherin is in possession, wait! The Chaser dropped the Quaffle! Gryffindor now in possession. Just missed the Bludger! GRYFFINDOR SCORES!” and it went on like that for another half an hour, and then finally, James saw the Snitch. He knew if he went straight to it, the other Seeker would follow, so he dove to the other side of the Quidditch Pitch, and the Slytherin Seeker followed suit. Finally, after James, who was the better flyer, had led the other Seeker around on a wild goose chase, James flew faster than before, straight at the Snitch, and then everybody heard Dumbledore’s voice boom again, “The Slytherin Seeker has just stole the Beater Stick from the Slytherin Beater, and just wailed the Bludger at James Potter!” and James had barely noticed, but it had just grazed his elbow, and his Quidditch robes were torn, but he was not hurt really badly.



That's not all of it, but I have to go, and plus, i dun have anymore typed up, but i'll get more ASAP! Love you all! *kisses and hugs!*

~*~< JenJen >~*~

[dianella]

Jen,

Nice story! I can see why you were inspired by that passage in the book...it certainly gets the mind going about what they were like at school.

I was thinking...since James is Prongs, and he is trying to grow up, I wonder if you could title your story something to do with antlers...You know - antlers are a sign of maturity in deer. Just a thought.

Can I make a small observation? When you write dialogue, use a comma, then end quotes and then the end of the sentence. For example:

“Oh yes I would! And you know it.” Threatened James.

should be

“Oh yes I would! And you know it,” threatened James.

If the quote is an exclamation or question, don't use the comma. You usually were correct in this case. For example:


“Even if you can’t, I can!” said Sirius.
“EXPELLIARMUS!” yelled James, and...
“Well…” said James a little uneasily, “I’m trying to be more mature.
Anyways, whom is this girl that has you so down?” said the Fat Lady.

These are all correct.

Just a little suggestion. Happy writing!

[Jenny's Back!]

(Thanks Di! I was thiniking about the title last night, and what do ya'all think about "How the Stag Got It's Antlers" or something like that. Anyways, here's some more of the story...I was working on changing the comma thing, but didn't have enough time last night. Sorry!)


He just reached out, and snatched the Snitch as it pulled him downward towards the ground. James leveled out, and landed. As he landed, he heard Dumbledore’s voice booming, “GYFFINDOR WINS! GRYFFINDOR WINS! 240-20! GRYFFINDOR WINS!” There was loud screaming, and many ‘boos’ coming from the Slytherins.

After their victory lap, they all came in, the captain gave a short speech, and James hurriedly got changed, and ran out and only waited about two minutes for Lily to show up.
“Hey, Jams! Awesome match. That was some fantastic fling.” Said Lily, as she walked up behind him.
“Thanks.” Said James as he blushed.
“Aww, don’t blush because of me.” Said Lily, then she giggled, “It’s the truth anyways.”
“Yes, but still. It’s you who’s giving me he compliment, so it makes it extra special.” Said James and it as Lily’s turn to blush. “Hey now! Don’t you go blushing after you just told me not to!” he said jokingly.
“I’m a girl, I have the right to. We’re not as good as guys when it comes to taking compliments. We are shyer!” explained Lily.
“Here, I have something for you.” Said James as he held out his wand, and mumbled a simple spell, and he had a dozen roses in his hand, which made Lily blush even more.
“Why, thank you” said Lily, as James handed her the flowers.
“So, where to? I thought we may be able to take a walk, but just a small on, before heading back to the castle, if that’s okay with you.” Said James solemnly.
“Of course it is.” Said Lily softly.
“Alright, let’s go then.” Said James, as he led Lily to the left, where little did she now, he had another surprise for her. He and found a unicorn earlier, and a centaur, and he had asked the centaur to watch the unicorn, and try to keep it there. Before the match, James went to make sure it was still there, and it was, so James figured it would still be there. As they turned the corner, Lily saw the unicorn there, running around in the semi-open field, and she stopped in her tracks.
"Oh James! It's beautiful! I can't believe it. Can we go closer?" Lily said as if she was a little kid in a candy shop.
"Of course, Lily. Anything you want." said James. Then they continued on toward the unicorn, and James saw the centaur gallop away, and James knew that it would return to talk to him again soon. Lily had gone up to pet the unicorn, and after a few minutes Lily yawned.
"Are you tired?" asked James
"Just a little." replied Lily.
"Do you want to go back up to the castle then?" asked James.
Lily replied, "I guess we should get going, but not until I do something."
"And what would that be?" said James a little confused.
"This..." said Lily, then kissed James' lips softly, then pulled away and smiled at him, and then giggled and his confused face, "You are too funny, James Potter." she said, then slowly, and softly kissed him again.
James smiled and kissed her back.
"Come on. We should get going. I don't want the guys to send out a search team,” said James, and Lily giggled, “Why are girls always doing that?" asked James.
"Doing what?" said Lily innocently.
"Giggling! It's like; you have a way of talking or communicating through just giggles! It's kinda freaky,” explained James.
"Oh? Well, what if we do? Maybe we need a secret way to communicate without all of you guys interrupting us or overhearing." said Lily, as they approached the castle, and walked in.
"Well, I guess I should get going now. Thanks for spending time with me, Lily." said James.
"Hey! We're in the same house, aren't we? Aren't you going to at least walk me to the common room?" asked Lily.
"Of course. It would be my pleasure." Responded James.
Lily smiled and James offered her his hand, and she took it. They walked up and made their way to the portrait of the Fat Lady. When they got there they told her the password, and she let them in.
“Thanks for the wonderful time.” Said Lily, then she kissed James one more time, and she ran up the stairs to her dorm room. All of a sudden, James noticed a big black dog, hidden by the couch, a rat next to that, and Moony laying down on the couch, all hiding. Then Peter and Sirius both transformed back, and Lupin sat up. All three of them looked at him silently for a minute, and then Sirius spoke up.
“Did she just kiss you, man?” he said in a surprised tone.
“Yeah, I think she did.” Replied Lupin.
“Yeah. She definitely kissed James. Lily Evans KISSED James! Who would have thought it?” said Wormtail in disbelief.
James just ignored them and went upstairs to their dorm room, got changed, laid down, and went to bed. He slept well, and didn’t wake up once the whole night.
The next morning James expected to be woken up by Sirius as usual, but he was wrong. When he opened his eyes he saw not his best friend, but Lily. He smiled, and stretched out his arms and everything.
“Hi, sleepyhead.” Said Lily.
“Hello, beautiful.” He managed to get out before he yawned, “How long have you been there?” he asked.
“Oh, not long… about twenty minutes.” Replied Lily.
“WHAT?!” James said as he sat up and realized that he couldn’t stand up with her in the room because he was not dressed.

[Jenny's Back!]

“Just kidding!” said Lily, “Remus just let me in five minutes ago.”
“Oh. You still should have woken me up, instead of waiting for me to get up. Anyways where is Sirius?” James said as he looked at the clock, “He was supposed to have woke me up forty-five minutes ago! Of course, this is better.” Then he smiled.
“I’m glad you liked it.” Said Lily, then she kissed him, “I’ll wait in the common room while you get dressed. The guys agreed to let me eat with you lot today.” Then she got up and went down to the common room. James jumped up, threw on his robes, grabbed his wand, messed up his hair as usual, but decided to brush it so it was neat, then ran down the stone steps, almost tripping on the way down, then into the common room. When he looked over at Lily, she was sitting by the fire, staring into it. James smiled and walked up behind her and kissed her cheek softly.
“Hey!” he said.
“Hello.” She said as she turned around, “I didn’t expect you so soon.”
“Well, I had something to motivate me today.” Said James.
“What was that? Food?” said Lily trying to sound serious.
“No! YOU! You are better than food, but I am kind of hungry…” said James thoughtfully. Then Lily took his hand and tried to pull him towards the portrait hole, but he wouldn’t move.
“Why aren’t you moving?” Lily asked him.
“Because I don’t want to go down just yet. I want to be with you right now.” James replied.
“But if you’re hungry…” Lily insisted.
“Trying to get rid of me already are ya?” joked James.
“Not if I can help it.” Replied Lily, then she looked into his eyes and he knew she wasn’t lying.
“Alright, let’s get going.” Said James. Then they walked out of the common room, and down to the Great Hall.
“Hey, James! Hello, Lily.” Said Peter
“Hey you two!” said Sirius, “You have fun last night?”
Lily didn’t say anything, and sat down next to James.
“If I told you, I’d have to kill you.” Said James jokingly, then he became serious, “Of course I did. I was with the prettiest girl in the whole school, and the one with the best personality.”
Lily couldn’t help but blush again, and she felt James squeeze her hand and smile at her.
“I had a wonderful time as well. The unicorn was so beautiful, and James was even more amazing.” Said Lily.
“Well, good for you two. James, don’t forget about tonight. You know what it is.” Said Sirius.
“Yeah, I know, Sirius. Lily…” James said, “I won’t be around for a few days. It’s a thing I have to do every month. I’m sorry.”
“I understand. I’ll wait for you.” Said Lily.
“I’m so glad you understand.” Replied James.
“It’s a friend thing. If I couldn’t understand that, what kind of person would I be?” asked Lily, “I understand that you have to be with Remus while he’s sick. It must be some disease to be away every month.”
“Err… Yeah, it is.” Said Peter.
“Yeah, a very bad one.” Added Sirius. James just shoved food into his mouth, avoiding the subject. Finally after James had eaten enough, he said, “I have to go to the library before Potions. I’ll see you all in class.” Then he bent down, kissed Lily’s cheek then went off to the library.
James walked into the library to see that it was almost empty. He noticed Severus was in there, and another boy sitting on the other side of the room. James recognized his as the boy who slept in their dorm room. Instead of going over to the boy, he walked over to the book case, took out a book on the Draught of Peace for the Potions essay the Potions teacher had assigned. James had gotten an ‘O’ on his Potions O.W.L., so he had been accepted into the N.E.W.T. group, along with his friends, Lily, and a handful of others, which included Severus. James scribbled on for close to an hour, and he wrote small, and he had already exceeded the length requirement by half a foot, when Lily came in looking for him.
“Hey, James! Sirius and I were talking… He told me about you guys being Animaguses, and why. I completely understand. Now it’s all logical! You four being away every month! During full moons none-the-less! All I had to do was put two and two together. I understand. It’s okay. Sirius obviously trusts me enough to tell me, otherwise he wouldn’t have told me, right?” said Lily in almost a whisper.
“Yeah. I guess, he must.” Said James as he bent his head back down and continued writing.
“James! At least talk to me! You aren’t going to be able to for at least two days! So, whatever it is, you better get it out now!” said Lily a little louder.
“I’m sorry. I just have to finish this essay. I need this Potions N.E.W.T. I’m sorry Lils. Can we talk about this today, after classes? I only have four classes… of course it is double Herbology… but that’s this morning. I won’t be late today. I’ll be done with all my classes by about one. The same time as you, of course. I promise we will have plenty of time to talk. I don’t have to be with the guys until seven. I promise we’ll talk.” Said James as he finished his last sentence, and rolled up his parchment. He then stood up and held out his hand, “Walk me to class?” he asked, and Lily took his hand.

[dianella]

Nice continuation Jen. I like your title suggestion! And work on the comma thing whenever you're ready. Like I said - just a suggestion. I'm much more interested in seeing you continue in your writing than worry about comma's. But, when you're ready - I'm here to help!

[Jenny's Back!]

Alright. I am writing more tonight (Finally!) and I will post it as soon as possible. Just dont delete it please! I have been soo busy with school to write in here. Since im on break Im going to work on it some more, but I need some ideas if anyone would like to help. Thnaks much!

[hogleg]

I like dialogue driven stories. One thing JR tends to do is overuse adjectives...he said knowingly, she replied quietly, she fell quickly, etc. It's nice to see you don't have much of a problem with that. You do sometimes get in the habit of describing how they're saying something. Consider:

"The zipper on my pants is broken!" Moronica complained.
"Well, if you'd switch to velcro, that wouldn't happen," replied Ben smugly.

I focus on dialogue a lot, so for me statements like that spring out as extrenous. It's really a style choice though, so you know.

BTW the stag got its antlers The easy way to remember that is to remember that no posessive pronouns (his hers ours yours theirs its) use an apostrophe.

I can't spell, but I'm okay with the grammar

BTW I'm not trying to be a know it all, so let me know if you'd rather not have me reply like this. It won't hurt my feelings.

[Jenny's Back!]

[glow=green,2,300]“Of course Prongs,” said Lily, and she smiled and they walked out of the library and started to walk down the hall when someone called James’ name. They looked back and it was Snape.
“Potter! I’m talking to you!” said Snape, and James told Lily to stay there, he would be right back.
“Be careful!” Lily called to him as he approached Snape.
“What do you want Severus?” questioned James.
"I, uh...wanted to say thank you for what you did. Not that i needed your help or anything. I had it all handled," said Snape.
"Yeah. You almost got me in trouble. You know that? Yo're lucky I like Lily this much, otehrwise, you'd still be coughing up slugs," said James
"So you're dating the mudblood now?" Snape asked, and James grabbed his robes adn pulled him close to him.
"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL HER?!" James said loudly.
Yeah, you heard right...I called her a MUDBLOOD!" said Snape, "so what are you gonna do about it?"
Before Severus could put on a smug smile, James had put the leg-locker curse on him and screamed "Expellarmus" and Snape's wand flew out of his hand about twenty feet away, and James was about to use the Impediment Jinx, when Lily ran up and grabbed his wand.
"What on earth are you doing?!" asked Lily.
James bowed his head down in embarrassment.
"He called you a you-know-what, again!" responded James.
"So you couldn't just walk away!?" yelled Lily.
"I...I wanted to, bit I couldn't let him get away with talking about you like that! I love you too much to hear anyone talk about you like that! I'm sorry. I shouldn't have..." explained James.
"You're right, but you should have used these two curses..." said Lily, and then she said "furnunculus" and Snape broke out in boils and then she said "Tarabtallegra" and the leg-locker curse was broken, and Snape's legs started to move, but he couldn't stop them. Lily just smiled smugly, and then she took James' hand and led him away towards the dungeons.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
As James and Lily walked towards Herbology class, the boy from James’ dorm room approached them.
“Hi! I just wanted to tell you two that was some great magic in front of the library. Truly wonderful! I’m Frank Longbottom. I believe we have the same dorm room,” said the boy as he shook James’ hand.
“Oh yeah! We do, don’t we?” said James, and then laughed heartedly, “Why don’t you sit with us at dinner tonight?”
"Sure. It'd be my pleasure." responded Frank joyfully.
"Great!" said James.
"Isn't herbology great?" asked Lily, "It's just so useful! Of course, Defense Against The Dark Arts is more usefull..."
"Lily... don't you hate Defense Against The Dart Arts?" asked James.
"Well, it is useful! I never said I liked it." said Lily flatly.
"She's right." added Frank.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*[/glow]