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Post by potterknowitall on Jan 1, 2004 17:22:41 GMT -5
The title of your 3rd chapter threw me off a little. You mentioned parrots but nothing of tigers or lions so I got confused. Ever seen The Wizard of Oz? Remember the song/chant when they're going through the forest before they find the Cowardly Lion? "Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!"
Yeah, I know. It was a bad pun on my part
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Post by potterknowitall on Jan 1, 2004 18:55:45 GMT -5
Chapter 5: Men With Brooms* [/center] The pounding on the door didn’t stop, and neither could she slow down her pounding heart. She dropped down behind her desk and took a glance at her watch. It was a quarter to eleven – she wasn’t late… unless she got the letter two days ago. She started nervously biting her nails and looking about herself for anything that she might be able to use to fend off whomever was at the door. The best thing that she could find was an abnormally thick book of Nialle’s that she borrowed to level out her desk when some Pixies “accidentally” got into the office and broke a multitude of things, including at least one leg of every piece of furniture. With much effort, she pulled it out and, in the process, let all of the papers which she had sorted fly off the desk and scatter themselves. Pkia was too distracted to notice this, however. Clutching the book and pulling her robes over so that she couldn’t be seen behind the desk, she shouted a “Who is it?!” “Let me in!” came a frantic cry from, what sounded like, a young girl. She didn’t immediately recognize the voice. “What do you want? It’s late! Go to your dorm!” “I can’t,” she shouted back when she stopped banging. “Pocket Voldie is after me and he won’t let me walk past the Great Hall! Hurry up! He’ll probably come back!” In a moment of trust, or extreme curiosity, Pkia got up from the desk and tip-toed over to the door. She opened it just enough to see out the door and saw Hermoine with her back against the door, looking around for someone. She was covered in some kind of clear ooze that had some strange speckles in it and Pkia, who felt more sympathetic (having been the victim of such attacks in the past) than suspicious, opened the door and pulled her in. She locked the door behind her and clung to the book, just in case. With a relieved expression on her face, Hermoine said “Thank you,” and started flinging the ooze off her limbs and onto the papers which had fallen onto the floor. As she did this, she must’ve noticed how hard Pkia was holding the book. “What is that for?” “Pardon?” replied Pkia, before realizing she was talking about the book. She was holding it more out of frustration over her now-soggy papers than need for a weapon, now. “Oh, I was just being cautious. A bit of protection, since there was someone banging on my door late at night and nearly scaring me half to death.” “Why? Have you lost your wand?” said Hermoine, quizzically. Pkia had entirely forgotten about it. Hermoine didn’t wait for an answer, though. She shrugged and removed the last of the big globs from her shoulder. “I think he got a hold of Leia’s wand again. He was waiting outside of the Great Hall with buckets of this slime and was throwing it on everyone who passed by! When I threatened that I would tell Leia, he chased me down until I got to your door.” Pkia was inspecting the ooze and suppressing some giggles about the situation. She regretted not having taken away the little flying broom that someone had made him, since he was now able to give people a good chase, and wondered about how many people Pocket Voldie had hit, since it looked like he was even re-using the slime – there were toast crumbs and dirt in the substance. “Yes, I suppose he’s a bit of a pest, but he is good for entertainment sometimes, eh?” “Only when it’s not happening to me,” Hermoine muttered. “Pocket Voldie has probably moved on by now. He’s got a short attention span. I think that you should be safe to head over to your commons now.” Hermoine looked distressed and bit her lip. “Would you,” she started, sounding like she was ashamed. “Would you mind walking with me? I mean, only if you’re heading that ways. Maybe he won’t do it if you’re there.” Pkia sighed, quite understanding since she made special effort to not walk alone in the corridors, and agreed, even though she thought it more likely for Voldie to launch an attack when she was around. She and Hermoine left the office and walked towards the Gryffindor Commons, not taking a detour around the Great Hall. Pkia allowed Hermoine to lead the way since she didn’t know where the Gryffindor Dorms were but kept a close eye on her watch. It was currently 11:05 pm. As they walked, Hermoine would sometimes, seemingly out of nowhere, start giggling. Pkia dismissed it, assuming she was finding the humour in being covered with slime, but on the third start of her light chuckles, Pkia spoke up. “So what is it that's so funny?” Hermoine suppressed her giggles and just grinned, “You’ll find out…”[/color]
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S.S Tigress
Slytherin Alumni
Shots in the dark from empty guns, never heard by anyone
Posts: 1,345
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Post by S.S Tigress on Jan 1, 2004 19:12:05 GMT -5
Oh whoa, hey..creepy!!! It's almost as if she was randomly possesed when she said that! I think you could make your chapters a little longer, unless you're pulling a Cat's Cradle on us. These clifhangers are making me twitch! I'm all "Ok, ok ok!! What comes next, tell me!!" Tee hee!! I knew it was from the chant I just thought you changed one animal so that meant you were mentioning all three of them. (Plus I thought tigers had to do with me so that's a little selfish thought on my part. )
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Post by Sphi on Jan 1, 2004 19:49:15 GMT -5
*amused* What's that asterisk after the title for? Wanted to keep yourself out of some trouble, did you, pkia?
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Post by Will on Jan 2, 2004 1:19:46 GMT -5
-is equally amused and creeped out- “You’ll find out…” ? You like torturing us with those cliffhangers, don’t you?
Men With Brooms* …I don’t get it. Anyhow, I still like where this is going and I'll just twiddle my thumbs here and wait for the next chapter.
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Post by hermoine on Jan 2, 2004 2:42:28 GMT -5
Hey I'm in a story! Yeay!!!
Oh Pkia, you're making this story so cool, and....what's with the giggling and "You'll find out...." Hmmmm.....either something bad's gonna happen to her, OR, there's a surprise coming.
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Post by potterknowitall on Jan 2, 2004 13:52:27 GMT -5
Wow... Hermoine being creepy was totally unintentional Those last few paragraphs are pretty bad in general, and I didn't really know how to fix them, so I just didn't She was just supposed to be a little weird, is all...
(what's "Cat's Cradle"?) My chapters tend to be short because I tend to be lazy. They also tend to focus on just one thing, right? So to make longer chapters would just be dancing around the same subject for twice as long as necessary.
And lastly, I'm going to start explaining my titles now "Men With Brooms" is a movie, and I was pulling a really bad pun about Pocket Voldie being a man with a broom ((did you notice the comment about how someone made him a mini-broom and now he was able to put up a good chase on people?)) and him being the main problem in the particular chapter. Ca va?
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Post by Jenny's Back! on Jan 2, 2004 15:52:52 GMT -5
*smiles* That is awesome PKIA. I love all the people in it too. It's something that could really happen if you got us all together in a castle like hogwarts. It's B-E-A-utiful! ;D
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Post by Will on Jan 2, 2004 19:47:18 GMT -5
Ohhhh! I see now. I was scanning through the chapter for any sign of the word "broom"... I guess my scanning was pretty bad and I missed it. Anywho, I'm still twiddling my thumbs and waiting for the next chapter.
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Post by Sphi on Jan 2, 2004 23:43:52 GMT -5
Okay nevermind. I guess I was thinking on a different level. Clearly a wrong one.
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S.S Tigress
Slytherin Alumni
Shots in the dark from empty guns, never heard by anyone
Posts: 1,345
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Post by S.S Tigress on Jan 4, 2004 0:08:20 GMT -5
Cat's Cradle is a book by Kurt Vonnegut. I'd give you a brief summary of it but frankly after reading it three times, I'm still unsure what the plot is. But the chapters are only a page long, maybe two at the most.
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Post by potterknowitall on Jan 9, 2004 16:50:17 GMT -5
a note: i apologize in advance for the terrible title, any misrepresentation of gryffindors, and any run-on sentances that get difficult to understand
Chapter 6: Six Gryffindors and a Raven
Pkia hit her head on the ground again. She kicked as hard as she could, but she couldn’t free herself. You see, she was in a potato sack, being hauled off by someone.
Just as she and Hermoine had turned the corner, she caught a glimpse of a grinning Rubes, but before anything could be said, she was being swept up into the sack and dragged away. All the she could hear were some whispers and giggles, and Rubes’ voice casting a silencing charm on her so she couldn’t shout.
It wasn’t very long before they stopped running, and again she heard Rubes’ voice, this time giving the Gryffindor Common Room password to the Fat Lady. She heard the creak of the portrait, someone walking, an “All’s clear!” and then laughing as they dragged the sack into the Common Room and poured the contents onto the floor.
She shuffled backwards until she hit an armchair near the fireplace, and glanced around. She was quite unsurprised to find that she was surrounded by the same six Gryffindors who tried to kidnap her a few days ago. Hermoine was just sitting at a desk, about to write something out. Ceri was folding the sack back up, Rubes was pacing around, Mag and Rhiannon sat down and smiled at Pkia, and Calantha suddenly popped up beside her, holding a tray.
“Want a cookie?” she grinned, and noticed Pkia’s wary face. “Oh, I assure you that there’s nothing wrong with them. They’re chocolate chip. No? Ok, they’ll just be on the table if you want them later.”
She returned them to a side table, and took a seat. Ceri joined her, but Rubes remained standing, holding his arms behind his back. He stopped pacing and took an armchair opposite Pkia. He was doing his best to look in charge.
“Nice to see that you could join us this evening,” he said. “We were worried you wouldn’t want to come with us and hear what we had to say, so we hope you won’t be upset with us for having to use slightly pushier methods to get you here.”
Pkia shook her head violently, motioning to her watch and tapping it. It was 11:15.
“Oh, it’s not that late, Pkia,” said Ceri, rolling her eyes. “And you’re going to be spending the night over here anyw-“
“Ceri!” shouted Rubes.
“What?” it took her a moment to realize what she had done. She didn’t really care that much. “Oh, yeah, right. We’re supposed to be ‘secretive.’” (she put emphasis into the word ‘secretive,’ mocking it.)
“It’s not that you have to be ‘secretive,’” responded Rubes, slightly miffed. “It’s just that there’s the Plan!”
“Oh, no one cares about the Plan, Rubes,” put in Mag. “We’ve got Pkia, now let’s get on with it. I’m tired.”
Rubes grumbled, and muttered something under his breath. He folded her arms and leaned back into the chair. “Oh fine. If no one cares about the Plan, you lead this.”
“Rubes, if you’re going to act like that we might as well just call it quits right now.”
“No, if you think you know how to take charge and get what we want, you do it.”
“You know we didn’t mean it like that, just that it’s not necessa-“
“Shh!”
“Hey, don’t ‘shh’ me, mister!”
“No, really! Be quiet! There’s someone coming down the stairs!”
He was right, Pkia could hear clicking on the stairs and saw lights coming down. She had a glimmer of hope in her eyes that it would be someone who would help her, or would at least realize that something was going on, since she wouldn’t be saying anything. The person reached the final step and peered around the corner, holding a lantern.
“Oh, hello,” said Fox, surprised to see so many people up at this hour. “What are you all doing?”
Calantha spoke before anyone else could, “Oh, we just invited Pkia over for a bit. She wanted to sample some of our famous Chocolate Chip Cookies.”
Fox looked a little suspicious.
“Is that what’s happening, Pkia?” she inquired. Pkia was going to start shaking her head, but someone thought quick and whispered an Impedimentia in her direction. She wanted to show that she wasn’t here on her own will, but couldn’t move fast enough to make her head turning look like more than slow stretching. Fox, who looked like she had just woken up with her disheveled hair and half-opened eyes, didn’t seem too alert. She gave a shrug and took Pkia’s silence as a “yes.” She then reminded them that they were supposed to be quiet after 11pm so that people could sleep, and went back up the stairs. Rhi, who was closest to the stairs, peered up and waited until she saw Fox go into her room before winking to the group who were having a conversation about how you know when cookies are baked just enough.
“I like to wait until they just crack on the top and are turning golden,” continued Hermoine, who didn’t catch on right away that the conversation was just a cover-up tactic. She looked around uncomfortably when everyone gave her a strange look.
Rubes coughed, deciding to forget the short tiff that were having when they were interrupted. “So I suppose you’re wondering why you’re here, are you? Well, we’ve got a few, what should we call them?, demands. The first of which we’re going to take care of tonight, and then tomorrow, you’ll help us with the second. But before we move onto that stuff, I’ll take off the silencing charm if you promise not to make a fuss.”
Pkia made a slow nodding motion, but was already beginning to speed up, so it only took 10 seconds for them to realize that she was agreeing. Rubes nodded to Calantha, who swished her wand and gave the incantation.
“Before you say anything, don’t worry, we’re not going to hurt you,” Rubes assured her. “It’s just that Gryffindor has been doing so poorly in the House Competition lately, that we’re getting desperate. And that’s where you’re going to come in. We’re going to change the House Glasses that keep track of the House Competition.”
“What? That’s crazy,” she said slowly, stunned at their gall. “For starters, every time points get added or taken away, the reasons get magically recorded on parchment in my office. That ink can’t be erased, and there’ll be proof that you were cheating!”
“No, no. We found a loophole in the spell,” Rubes sounded quite pleased with himself. “At midnight, for a minute, they can be altered without the reason being recorded. But only a Head of School can do it.”
“You kidnapped me just for this!? Do you really believe I won't tell anyone?”
He laughed, “When you find out what we’ve got of yours, yes. But there’s no use arguing about this right now. We’re going to be leaving for the Great Hall in about 25 minutes so we’ll be there for midnight. Until then, enjoy some cookies.”
He smiled, and passed the plate over to her. She tried to convince him that it was crazy, and that she couldn't go, but her protest only led them into putting the silencing charm back on her so that they wouldn’t have to listen to her declarations about how she had a prior engagement that she couldn't miss.
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Post by hermoine on Jan 9, 2004 17:20:38 GMT -5
Oh wow!! This is just super!
Yeay that's how I like my cookies. ;D
*rubs her hands* Victory shall be ours!!!
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Post by Sphi on Jan 10, 2004 5:27:27 GMT -5
Awesome chapter! You've managed to combine humor and plot, which definitely seems like it will be a good one. Very original. (...Do Gryffindors on TD really offer people cookies all the time? )
I loved this line! Among others, of course. Well, we’ve got a few, what should we call them?, demands.[/i]
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S.S Tigress
Slytherin Alumni
Shots in the dark from empty guns, never heard by anyone
Posts: 1,345
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Post by S.S Tigress on Jan 10, 2004 14:47:59 GMT -5
Yay! Some things become clear and other questions are highlighted like, what the hell do they have for blackmail?!
Now I'm hungry.. *goes off to look for cookies*
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