Rainbow Society: How has coming out changed?

[Fluffy]

I have to wonder. Right now, we're at a time when, in the US at least, the issue of legalising marriages between consenting adults of the same sex is still hotly contested, yet I very seldom meet anyone under the age of 18 who thinks queer people should not have that right. In fact, I seldom meet anyone under the age of 18 who doesn't have a friend who has come out as queer.

So that makes me wonder how coming out has changed in the last 10-15 years. I mean, I know I'm ancient relative to the people I'm talking about here ( ) but it really wasn't that long ago that only one or two people in a high school of 1200 in a liberal town actually came out while in high school, and when they did, it always created controversy at every imaginable level - parents wanting the kid suspended so that the queer kid wouldn't 'infect' their kids, administration trying to find a way to force the out queer not to talk about it in school, one or two teachers getting into trouble for sticking up for the kid, other kids playing cruel pranks on the out queer, still other kids sticking up for the out queer....

I've always thought the hardest part of coming out is coming out to oneself, and I'd hazard that that probably hasn't changed very much. But what is it like to come out (particularly while in high school) now?

[hermoine]

I suppose I wouldn't know much about 'coming out' exactly, because I'm what you could call 'straight', however I must say that in this year I've been in college, I've noticed the significant marks of 'coming out' through the doors of the school bathroom stalls. You're apt to find stuff like "I'm bisexual and proud of it. I have 2 to choose from!" or "Les and femme". One thing I've noticed however, and which just came to mind now, there were never any comments showing any form of intolerance towards those who write these messages. Actually, there were times when say this girl(I suppose it's a girl, unless boys are sneaking into girl's bathrooms for some reason or other ) said she was bisexual and lonely because she didn't know anyone like her, and someone wrote back saying they'd gladly meet up. So okay, you can never be too sure to whom you're talking to, especially if it's on the door of a bathroom stall, but I think it's a somewhat good sign no?


Obviously there's nothing wrong with the above statements(except for the fact that it can actually be seen as vandalism, although to a slightly less extent). In fact I agree with you En on the fact that it does look like the young generation of today may be more tolerant towards people who admit they're gay etc. I find nothing wrong with it at all, heck why should you see it as something so abnormal? However we were in a discussion with one of the lecturers last time and he kept insisting that gay people normally declare themselves as such because it has become a sort of fashion. He said it has become almost like a trend, it makes you look cool, the same way some people see smoking as being cool.

[Calavera Diablos]

Coming out during school sounds like it has become easier and safer. I can't say the same for my highschool experience, but all of my friends who attended public school have told me that gay/lesbian/bi students rarely were attacked or ridiculed for their sexual preference. In fact, extracurricular clubs that support and promote understanding between straights and gays are just as prevalent as GSA/LGBT clubs are on college campuses. In general, I believe tolerance is growing steadily, though there will always be exceptions based on location and the types of people living within the community.

[Nie]

What Cal said.

Coming out while at school has become easier because more recent generations seem to be more accepting in general of people's sexual preference. There is alot more support for gay/lesbian/bisexual kids these days too, from both students and teachers. While there are still those who are intolerable of people who aren't straight, there are more people standing up for gay/lesbian/bi people and it's more common for homophobes to be ridiculed these days than the other way around.

More and more people are realising that it isn't a 'phase' or a 'disease' or 'lifestyle choice', but actually part of who some people are. It's who and what people are attracted to and able to love on a romantic/sexual relationship level.

It's reassuring to think that by the time we all have children of our own there may almost be no issues with sexual preference and that 'coming out' will be a casual thing rather than the deciding factor in whether you'll keep your friends and respect. It may not be quite that well accepted by then, but it's something that I definately think is possible now that we wouldn't have thought to be as possible say 20-30 years ago.

[Sarah]

coming out, as the above posters have stated, has become a much easier thing to do recently. sure, it might be difficult at first for the individual, but once he or she passes that small bump in the road, its a smooth ride.

in the small conservative town i live in, being homosexual is looked down upon, and yet this year it seems the rate of gay people in our school has increased. and the funny thing is is that when said persons came out, there was a sigh of relief and many people said "finally!"
most of the people that came out have been obviously homosexual (or so its said), but they just battled within themselves. everyone knew they were gay, and accepted it. it was all about the individual's perspective.
im straight, but i know that coming out is a very hard ordeal, but im proud to say the people of this century are making it loads easier. and more and more people are telling bush to shove it with his beliefs and ensure human and marriage equality.

[Lianne]

A friend of mine has just come out recently. Ive always known he was gay but i never said anything. It for sure has gotten easier with the wider acceptance.

In a way i think the legalization of gay unions has made it more acceptable and made people come to terms with the concept of person with gay/lesbian orientation.

Even when i was first starting highschool people would be beat up if they were found out to be gay, or teased to such an extent that they would be ashamed of themselves. By the time i was finished highschool it was greatly accepted and lots of people that ive known over the years have "come out".

Like Nie said more people ARE realising that its not just a phase, while sometimes it can be during those confused years, but not for everybody. And that is good that people are realising that.Im sure that lives have gotten easier.