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Post by potterknowitall on Jan 21, 2004 11:23:48 GMT -5
Strangest Statement
*while watching Willy Wonka with a friend, during the middle of the Uncle-Joe-learns-to-walk scene*
L: "This is stupid. He's been lying in bed for the past 20 years while the rest of his family keeps going poor, even though he could walk if he tried. He should get off his [butt] and go work in a mine!"
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Calavera Diablos
Ravenclaw Alumni
Draws grown men wearing underpants outside their trousers
Posts: 1,547
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Post by Calavera Diablos on Jan 21, 2004 14:46:41 GMT -5
Argh, this requires a bit of explanation. My friend "Master" Buck attended a class having to do with Rationalization, in which he had an odd discussion with a teacher. He asked Buck whether he owned a weed whacker, which Buck responded "Yes...?" to. To make a long story short, the teacher concluded Buck was a heterosexual because if he had a weed whacker, he had a lawn, assuming he had a lawn, he had a house, assuming he had the money to pay for a house, he must be married or in a relationship. Yeah, it seemed like a shoddy class to me too. Ridiculously stupid est statement I've heard today: Buck: Hey Brian, do you have a weed whacker? Brian: What? No, man... Buck: Ha! Faggot!
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Fox Birch
Gryffindor Alumni
beauty lost
Posts: 7,556
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Post by Fox Birch on Jan 23, 2004 3:29:15 GMT -5
funny-est thing i've heard today:
"you will be... a tumor." "a what now?" "a tumor. the non-benign one." "o...kay."
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Calavera Diablos
Ravenclaw Alumni
Draws grown men wearing underpants outside their trousers
Posts: 1,547
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Post by Calavera Diablos on Jan 23, 2004 23:46:23 GMT -5
Pure geek talk here.
Funniest explanation I've heard today:
John: What is it now, whelp? Me: *snickers* I'm just confused about those "Monkey Puzzles", you know the talismans of amber that make their wearer appear like a perfectly normal human? Is that purely cosmetic, I mean, you wouldn't need one unless you were a severely deformed half-bred "Mule" right? John: No, you see the cool thing about Monkey Puzzles is if I were wearing one, I could walk down the street in full Crinos (half-man, half-wolf; basically an 8 to 9 foot wolf walking on it's hind legs with fully functional hands) form and the Apes (humans) would just see Johnny Boy-next-door. Like, Human: "Oh hey, how're you doing?" Crinos: *growly voice* "Groovy." Human: "How's the weather, nice eh?" Crinos: "Cheery."
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Post by En on Jan 26, 2004 12:30:29 GMT -5
Night my mum and Lumers and I went to a pancake place, there was this woman sitting at the next table, drinking coffee by herself, probably 80ish and with that waved white hair and little half-moon specs... talking loudly into a cellphone about everyone's health conditions. And during a lull in our conversation, she suddenly said, loudly enough for everyone in the restaurant to hear, "He has some kind of fung... something down there, you know, fungus or funga or whatever they call it."
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Post by Leia Skye on Jan 26, 2004 12:55:06 GMT -5
Amusing-est thing:
Me: So this random little kid came up behind me and hugged my leg, and it was so cute! Liz: Did you kick it? Me: No!! It's a little baby, Liz! Liz: I hate kids. If a little kid I didn't know came up and did that to me, I would've punted it across the room. Kevin: You can't punt a baby!
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Post by En on Jan 26, 2004 15:45:21 GMT -5
What happens when two Muppet fans get tired and whimsical:
Rig: Oh, the Whiskas commercial is on -- have you seen the one with the cat and the antelopes? Me: Nope. Rig: Okay, you see like this herd of antelope, and little antelope frolicking around, and then the alpha antelope raises its head and looks around, scenting danger, and then it pans over to the forest and there's this tabby cat stalking them because nobody gave him his Whiskas. Me: [laughing] Go go gadget savage tabby cat! Rig: I can just see you doing that. Me: What, stalking antelope? Rig: Yeah. Me: Right down First Ave at lunch, yup. "Hey! Get back here! I only get an hour for lunch!" Rig: You could pull him over. You know, like, "Excuse me, Mr. Antelope, you failed to signal that turn." Me: "...What are you doing for lunch?"
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Fox Birch
Gryffindor Alumni
beauty lost
Posts: 7,556
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Post by Fox Birch on Jan 27, 2004 2:27:14 GMT -5
FUNNY-est thing i've heard today "ewan's a funny guy, I've read a bunch of his interviews, he sure likes being naked" "aww, i cussed in front of the chillins... now i never be a mommy" --both from cally NEXT DAY funny-est thing: Church: I really don't see how not killing someone is the same as doing them a favour. Tex: Well, if you don't appreciate it, I could just kill you right now. Church: No, you can't! I'm already dead, bitch!! I guess the joke's on you!
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Post by Nie on Jan 28, 2004 11:14:11 GMT -5
Funniest thing:-
What separates us from the apes is we have guns, antidepressants, and edible women's panties. We're sophisticated.
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Post by Leia Skye on Jan 28, 2004 11:53:04 GMT -5
Grossest thing today:
Hayley: Hey what are you doing? Me: Eating breakfast. Hayley: Oh, what are you having? Me: Eggs. Hayley: Ew...no offense but I can't ever eat eggs again since my aunt had her baby and ate the placenta. It was like scrambled eggs, but really really gross. AND IT WAS HER BABY'S PLACENTA!
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Post by Lianne on Jan 28, 2004 12:49:06 GMT -5
thats kind of umm NASTI, i had to read it again cos i was like eewwww what? lol is that healthy?
Most Stupidest thing i was told today:
Mum: Lianne, go check the mail Me: mum im still in the tub Mum: so what i want the mail go and get it.
to get this straight: i had a shower and i was shaving my legs lol and it is like -28ÂșC and like -36 with the wind chill and i was dripping wet and she wanted me to reese my arse off and walk to the road. i live in the country so our driveway is long.
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Post by Jenny's Back! on Jan 28, 2004 21:01:17 GMT -5
[glow=Silver,2,300]This is the.. Er. I don't know exacly what --est it would be. Maybe the Sweetest thing? It's a conversation between me and a guy, Danny.
Me: what are you ding after swim pratice? Danny: I have to go to my dance class thing. Me: Dance class? Danny: Yeah. I knwo it sounds dorky, but its really fun. Me: Oh my god! I wish more guys were like you! Danny: *blushes* thanks...
He goes to DANCE CLASS! ;D He is the most adorableest guy ever![/glow]
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Post by Leia Skye on Jan 29, 2004 15:33:29 GMT -5
Funniest thing from my own mouth:
Today in English we were talking about parenthetical documentation, and I quote the Bible in my paper so I asked about that. "So, like...if I'm using the Bible...would I put the quote, and then in parentheses say 'Jesus'?"
;D
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Post by potterknowitall on Jan 29, 2004 15:56:58 GMT -5
as calculus ends, and a new semster starts, i have discovered someone from whom i'll be able to find more than enough bizzare statements. my bible teacher. this guy is a freakin' one-man show, bouncing around from singing, to punning, to imitating students, to repeating a conversation had between him and his daughter and... yeah. he's a strange guy. quite nice, but still strange.
Bible-isms
T: "You've got to understand that it's not about just one guy - It's not about Peter (draws a circle on the board), it's not about Paul (draws another circle), it's not about this guy, or that guy, or even about Jesus (draws more circles). It's about the whole story that they tell (draws a streched circle above the little circles, covering the length from Peter to Jesus). Or, as I like to call it, the Hotdog on Wheels.
...O.o
T: (while talking about how it's silly to keep rules when your child will go from tons of rules, then to none at all) "So what are you going to do? Keep them under rules for 18 years, and then ship them off to Iowa where there's 1000s of miles of corn fields in all directions and no temptation?"
C: "So how long do you want this summary to be? A page? Two pages?" T: "I like to get my assignments in like a woman's skirt. Long enough to cover, but short enough to be interesting."
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Post by En on Jan 29, 2004 16:28:07 GMT -5
Hey! I'm a temptation!
...really!
kidding.
Anyway, the most disturbingly backward thing I heard yesterday was my next-door neighbour, speaking to a Chinese food delivery person:
"No, that must be for the [person] next door... we don't eat that kind of stuff here but [s/he's] like some kind of city [person]."
In the end, I had to laugh... because I'm from McVille, Iowa, pop. 800. Biiiiiiiiig city, huh?
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