Emma
Ravenclaw Alumni
Posts: 2,871
|
Post by Emma on Mar 4, 2004 7:54:39 GMT -5
Is it really just a simple crush?
A crush, a crush….more an obsession, What is the problem, I made my confession, What is it with you and wrong impressions? I thought you liked me, you taught me a lesson......
A lesson, a lesson that my life now on is leaning, To ignore the happiness you give me, and stop of you my dreaming, You feel deep about another, to think of this my face is greening, The word heartbroken to this is my meaning......
The meaning, the meaning, the meaning of love, To love is when you find the person sent for you from above, This is message to the sister’s and bruv’s, It’s never too late to find your true love......
True, a true love is the one, who loves you back, It isn’t a skill; you won’t get the knack, The fake aren’t the one’s for you to attack, Just wait, you will find the one true love, who loves you back......
I wrote this, after reading something in a mag about this love story, It Isn't very good,
Please reply, any comment's welcome!!
|
|
|
Post by Potter723 on Mar 4, 2004 11:24:12 GMT -5
thats good, nice ideas...
i like the way you use the last word of one line, on the start of the next...stanza(paragraph thing)
bit hard to read with it centered though.
|
|
Emma
Ravenclaw Alumni
Posts: 2,871
|
Post by Emma on Mar 4, 2004 11:38:07 GMT -5
Better? Okay, great, thanks
|
|
|
Post by claretta "happy and not" on Mar 4, 2004 14:02:32 GMT -5
Nice poem!! good work!
|
|
Emma
Ravenclaw Alumni
Posts: 2,871
|
Post by Emma on Mar 4, 2004 14:05:21 GMT -5
Thanks claretta.. But it's not that good....
|
|
|
Post by claretta "happy and not" on Mar 5, 2004 13:36:12 GMT -5
But when i look at my poems, i see the big difference! And they are alot better than mine!
|
|
|
Post by hermoine on Mar 5, 2004 13:38:58 GMT -5
Emma I've told you this before and I'm saying it again. It's a wonderful poem, believe me.
And I agree with Vinnie when he said about the starts of the stanze the first word is repeated, it emphasizes it, besides, it's very enjoyable.
|
|
Emma
Ravenclaw Alumni
Posts: 2,871
|
Post by Emma on Mar 6, 2004 12:45:41 GMT -5
Okay okay,
Stanza, wow I learn new word's all the time!!
|
|
ruby
1st Year
Posts: 77
|
Post by ruby on Mar 17, 2004 17:44:49 GMT -5
This is good! I'm doing a poetry lesson in my English class right now. It's such a pain! I can't write poems for anything! Consider yourself lucky that your poems atleast ryme! But anyway, it was really good. when ever i read love poems it makes me all warm and happy on the inside.....ok..said too much,
|
|
Emma
Ravenclaw Alumni
Posts: 2,871
|
Post by Emma on Mar 22, 2004 11:44:33 GMT -5
Well everyone can do it, it might be harder for some, but don't give up......
That's the power of poetry for you!!!
|
|
Emma
Ravenclaw Alumni
Posts: 2,871
|
Post by Emma on May 14, 2004 13:36:55 GMT -5
Another one, that I wish to share, and isn't to personal, and I am trying to add a few more verses, its out of 8 so far, 2 for a second, 6 for an ending......but they aren't very good so...
Dancing in the stars The stars are out tonight Neither fears nor fright, can you prove that fears are dead, your body is as stiff as lead, let go, let your body sway, to and fro, you start to sway, hey, come and join me, it's alright, you can dance with me tonight...
|
|
|
Post by RainFrost on May 14, 2004 15:32:20 GMT -5
I like how the first poem has a certain rythm. It's nice...
And the second poem sets such a pretty picture in my head. I can just imagine the poem in my head being acted out. That's great.
|
|
Emma
Ravenclaw Alumni
Posts: 2,871
|
Post by Emma on May 16, 2004 1:04:17 GMT -5
thanks, I kinda imagined what could happen when i was writing it.....
|
|
|
Post by Potter723 on May 16, 2004 16:00:01 GMT -5
just read them both through. again. i really dont know what to say....so much emotion, so well written, with such power...
emma, you should print out the first one...E7 has a poetry board...just ask miss brooks, or i could give it in for you...just a thought.
everybody read through both poems again, slowly....im almost speechless.
emma, youve given me alot to think about...
|
|
Sarah
Gryffindor Head of House
Posts: 2,865
|
Post by Sarah on May 18, 2004 7:47:45 GMT -5
wow. emma dear. tons of emotion. i like! i wrote poetry, too, ya know. some have been published, others not so successful. but i like your style of writing. the first one speaks to me. it makes me feel.....loved. yes, loved. *laughs* the second one. well you know i love that one. i get an image, too. and ive always felt connected to the stars in a way, even thought they're just big balls of gas. but yea girly, you've got talent.
|
|