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Post by Tange-Rhi-ne, Tange-Rhi-ne on Feb 8, 2004 23:14:43 GMT -5
Well this was actually a few days ago, but it was still hysterical. My friend told me this story about how she was in the mall one time when her watch broke. She found all the pieces but she couldn't find the screws to put them together, and she was on her cell phone as she crawled around looking for them. And suddenly she shouted really loud, "I need a screw!" Needless to say, everyone around her in the food court stared at her for a moment after that
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Post by En on Feb 9, 2004 18:19:44 GMT -5
Gross-est. Just overheard in the copy room:
"You could put chocolate-covered dog **** in here and people would stand around saying how good it was."
"Yeah... just think... and it'd get cut up into little bitty pieces so people could snack on it a bite at a time...."
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Fox Birch
Gryffindor Alumni
beauty lost
Posts: 7,556
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Post by Fox Birch on Feb 13, 2004 8:05:26 GMT -5
silly-est thing i heard today:
me: hey, these pineapple chunks have sulfer dioxide-- heather: --OOH! gimme!
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Post by KoNeko on Feb 13, 2004 9:03:44 GMT -5
Most disturbing pickup line:
[dodgy guy]: Hi! My name is [Dodgy guy]! Would you like to see me shake my butt?
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Emma
Ravenclaw Alumni
Posts: 2,871
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Post by Emma on Feb 14, 2004 4:12:35 GMT -5
My teacher was telling this girl in my class, how you can't call some one gullible anymore, It had been taken out of the dictonary, she believed him and when everyone started laughing at her, she asked "no, has it really?"
GULIBLE
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Post by Rue on Feb 15, 2004 16:24:57 GMT -5
Yesterday I was sitting at a lunch table with a few people, two of which were a guy named Andy and his girlfriend.
Andy: This is the first time since second grade that I've been with my valentine on Valentine's Day. You know who my valentine was in second grade? My dog. I bit out a heart in a piece of american cheese and gave it to her.
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Fox Birch
Gryffindor Alumni
beauty lost
Posts: 7,556
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Post by Fox Birch on Feb 17, 2004 10:41:06 GMT -5
omg rue, that is so funny... strange-est thing i've heard today: "[cocaine's] the new thing. ...like bellbottoms." ~Monkey honestly.
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Calavera Diablos
Ravenclaw Alumni
Draws grown men wearing underpants outside their trousers
Posts: 1,547
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Post by Calavera Diablos on Feb 17, 2004 15:25:39 GMT -5
Sweetest thing I've heard on V Day
[James, Vic and I walk across the street to the abandoned gas station where the taco truck is at 2 am.] James: Whaddaya wants? Me: Nothing, I don't have money. James: 2 chicken burritos. Me: Dammit, I'm trying to be responsible! I don't want to owe anyone money or take advantage of your generosity. James: *laughs* Well, I don't have a girlfriend right now and your company has made my Valentine's Day less painful. Me: *stunned silence* ... Mm, this is the best three dollar burrito I've ever had. Vic: You romantic bastard.
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Fox Birch
Gryffindor Alumni
beauty lost
Posts: 7,556
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Post by Fox Birch on Feb 20, 2004 20:05:14 GMT -5
Funny-est thing I've heard today:
Fox: okay, say that i have this huge massive crush on you... Monkey: you mean you don't??
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Post by potterknowitall on Feb 23, 2004 12:06:46 GMT -5
*M goes to the front of the class, and takes the list of Announcements, scanning through them* M: What? Hey, they didn't put in my "The Colin Farell fan club will meet today at Lunch in the LCR" announcement! D: Is there really a Colin Farell fan club? M: Yeah. Hm... maybe they left it out because I put "No girls allowed" at the bottom.
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Post by En on Feb 23, 2004 16:35:07 GMT -5
True-est (and sadd-est) from the concert I went to last night:
"There are no Irish love songs with happy endings, or even satisfying endings. Don't laugh, you know what I mean. Good Irish Catholic women always say no. [pause] And good Irish Catholic men, they watch while the good Irish Catholic women say the one yes they're allowed to say, at the altar, and then they go on living, day after day, leading their cows up the hill and looking down into the village at the women they love, who are married to someone else. Do they move to another county? No. They just walk the cow. Every day."
Racy-est thing said after that:
Guitarist: What are you doing later? Woman: It's Sunday. Guitarist: Meaning what? Woman: I have to work tomorrow, so I'm going home to sleep. Guitarist: That's no fun. Woman: *innocent look* I'm sure I don't know what you mean. Guitarist: Oh right. Good Irish Catholic woman. Woman: *looks at 5-member boy band, then back at guitarist* Which one of them told you I was good?
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Post by potterknowitall on Feb 25, 2004 22:29:51 GMT -5
there's a french "news" site from a town that my mom and i stayed in a few years ago, and there was an article in it about how they're putting a starbucks in paris. say the french:
"Why would I possibly want to go to Starbucks and drink weak coffee from a paper cup?"
*"Café? Pfff! Ca fait des siècles qu’on buvait du café sans ses américains sachent-tout. Aux armes, citoyens!"
;D
*Café? Pfff! We’ve been drinking it for centuries longer than the Americans. They think they can tell us about coffee? Ha! Bring them on!
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Post by KoNeko on Feb 26, 2004 4:34:20 GMT -5
Arguably the dumbest thing heard, or possibly the most inaccurate statement:
"No really, I find auditing sexy."
(Roops, when we were asking her what she did at work. At least she likes what she's doing. )
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Post by Ritsu on Feb 26, 2004 12:57:43 GMT -5
weirdest thing:
"you have such cute cheeks"
insane-est thing [done] recently:
adopting an insect and calling it Iha, because of James Iha from A Perfect Circle, whose video for Weak And Powerless is full of insects
funniest thing:
the song I'm hearing right now, "Paxaxa nos Dentes"... and yeah, it's Portuguese. But hilarious. ;D
... I'm not putting up dialogs or anything because it's been ages since I have a decent conversation with anyone, unless with people who tell me that I have cute cheeks.
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Post by En on Feb 26, 2004 12:59:14 GMT -5
*panics* Ko, call 911! Roops has clearly got Accountant's Brain! (And if you want to know what that is, gang, think of Athelete's Foot -- in your frontal lobes! )
Most unlikely thing I've heard in years:
TELEMARKETER: May I speak to [Nialle Sylvan]? NIALLE: Speaking, but on hir way to work.... TELEMARKETER: I won't keep you long then. I'm just calling to ask if you'd be interested in the Discover Platinum Card.... NIALLE: Oh, thanks but no thanks -- I don't really need another credit card. TELEMARKETER: All right. Thank you, and have a good day at work.
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