Natz
Ravenclaw Alumni
Posts: 4,269
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Post by Natz on Aug 29, 2005 8:15:08 GMT -5
I think that i want to develop independance and feel a bit crowded at home which is a bit odd as there is only four people here compared to thousands of people living in the halls.
The trouble is i have a confidence issue with halls as i came back from the original uni which was away from home and i don't want this to happen again as i feel such a failure for it. I also feel really lonely here despite the fact of being surrounded by family.
The other thing which is worrying is that the uni building which the department is meant to moving in to has holes in the windows and i don't see how it will ever be suitable for us to study in.
The other thing is even though i did well i still feel bad about my marks because i put so much work in.
Thanks for your support.
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Post by Nie on Aug 29, 2005 8:40:00 GMT -5
I know the crowded feeling you're getting at home because I had the same feeling before I moved out of home as well. It's not the amount of people you're living with, it's that you've lived with your family all your life. You've reached the stage where you want to get away from them because you crave independance and your own space. You tend not to feel that when you are still living wiht your parents because they still have a say, or it at least feels like they still have a say, in what happens in your life because you are stil under their roof.
There is nothing wrong with it, it's just part of growing up.
Are you now going to a Uni that's closer to home? Because if you are it might be easier. Rather than taking a big step away from your parents far enough away that its difficult to see them, it might be easier for you to get used to living away from them but being close enough that you can visit them and see them whenever you want. That way you'll still feel that they are there for support, but you'll have given yourself a little more independance by living out of home.
Does that sound like it might be a better alternative than moving right away?
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Natz
Ravenclaw Alumni
Posts: 4,269
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Post by Natz on Aug 30, 2005 2:16:55 GMT -5
I am going to a university closer to home. Since i spent a big chunk of my gap year away i'm finding it hard to adjust to life at home again. The halls cost £3,500 a year over here which is expensive to say the least and if i was going to pay that much money i rather be a bit further away than a round the corner because then i would be more independant/ I feel very down by the university because they said that we would get a term abroad and nothing has been mentioned at all. The really odd thing is i want to go back to the university i was at for a week and i'm not sure what to do because my head is all muddled up at the moment one part of me wants to go and the other wants to stay. I keep having dreams about the uni i was at in hull and frankly i find this stressfull. I feel even more angry today as i went into uni to organise my electives and they don't know whats on offer or who to contact. Seriously after this morning i'm considering moving universities again. I don't think that i can work my best with this amount of disorganisation.
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Calavera Diablos
Ravenclaw Alumni
Draws grown men wearing underpants outside their trousers
Posts: 1,547
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Post by Calavera Diablos on Nov 19, 2005 5:58:04 GMT -5
I'm having mild abandonment issues since my adoptive parents are seperating combined with my lack of knowledge about my birth family. Thanks to that, I'm frustrated and my old anger management issues are coming back. I flip out if a stranger looks at me the wrong way and in L.A., that's a great way to get shot. I've also been lonely since all the non-crazy women are either taken or straight. I'm crushing on a good friend of mine and I despise her boyfriend/roomate since he's an infantile ex-drug addict who, at the age of 26, is just now discovering the way the real world works and continuously complains about his cushy job.
It's wrong of me to zero in on her and hope they break up and I honestly should not be judging him since we've been in the same boat at different points of our lives, but I still feel this way.
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Post by nancy on Feb 16, 2006 19:08:10 GMT -5
Well... I've been mildly depressed and things aren't helping me feel better. I'm continously told to shut up, to stay out of [insert name of thing here]... compared to other people... and I compare myself too, but I'm stopping now... trying to anyway... and I can't shape up to all that's expected of me. Everyone thinks I'm so smart and funny and pretty and I just think I'm... well, average. I spend half my time at school trying to convince 4 to 5 kids that I'm not an Indigo child and that those don't even exist, because they're convinced that I am one. I've now been tear-less for 4 days. Before that I cried for 12 days straight. 12 days! That's like... almost 2 weeks. Most days, more than once. I answered half the exam to the hardest subject I'm taking while crying and tyring to hide it. No one noticed. But I'd already cried twice that day. Once in front of people, so they noticed. One of my friends really is worried... and she makes me feel like I'm not alone. And my lit teacher has noticed too. She's very much like that, and she likes me so I can talk to her. It's good to feel it and not just know it. But everyone's so busy this month that it's not really important how I feel or what I think... it won't be until march or something. Because I know people care. And I'm not alone. But I can't help feeling, sometimes, that I'm completely alone and no one cares and that just makes it worse. And I don't know what makes me feel this way... I've been having friend-issues with my older friends for a while now. That might be related to it, but I dunno. Sometimes I feel like I cause a lot more trouble than I'm worth. I've felt better this past 3 or 4 days... I haven't cried since the weekend, and I plan to stay this way, it's so much better... but I just needed to write that down. and my arts teacher... still having problems with him, and I can't wait until I graduate and never have to see him again. We'll invite all the teachers to our class reunions but him because none of us really likes him. And he really pissed me off today because of the way he spoke to me and ugh. Terrible. Sometimes... most times... I wish he were transferred somewhere ugly and smelly and would leave us alone.
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Post by nancy on May 14, 2006 22:42:20 GMT -5
I'm depressed. I thought, for the last 10 days or so, that I was finally getting better (things got ugly) but I'm not. I took a step forward, but then I took another one, back to the same place where I was at the start of April.
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Post by vinny on Jul 22, 2006 14:52:19 GMT -5
im not sure if this should go here, or in a seperate thread...so its here.
recently, my life has gone gradually downhill. got my AS predicted grades about a month ago, all D's and E's. i could have got C's easily, but i suppose i was just lazy, spending more time online than with friends or schoolwork.
next year, if i get in(need certain grades) my form class will have about 4 people who hate me. there was(this school year has just ended) and will be, nobody i know or like in my form class.
so yesterday, my mountain bike gave up on me. cant use it untill i fix it. that bike was one of the few ways i had to release stress, cycling calms me down. also yesterday, i was permanantly banned from one of my favourite website forums. for no reason!!!
then today, one of my friends tells me on msn, that everybody i hang around with, including her, think im a pedo', and most of them hate me. considering im 17, and i hang around with 14/15yr olds, this doesnt suprise me. but, its easier for me to talk to them than people my own age.
in the past week, only 2 things have made me anywhere near happy: first, i got a girlfriend, (shes 15). and my bank got a £100 bonus from going to all lessons in school.
for the past few months, i thought my life was getting better, less depressed, more sleep and doing ok in school. untill about 2 weeks ago. now i feel worse than i have for months.
any ideas, opinions or anything would help...please
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Post by Lianne on Jul 24, 2006 12:14:19 GMT -5
Well definately better motivation in your school work would be a good idea. Maybe because you wont really like anyone in your class this will be a good thing for you.
Dont worry about what other people say about you though, ytou are only 17 and hang ing out with some younger people is okay. I hung out with all older people so its like im them and you would be my friends so its normal. I dont reallyknow what to say. maybe try running to blow off that steam?
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Post by vinny on Jul 25, 2006 12:29:54 GMT -5
motivation... i find it very hard to get this. because im not really interested in anything at school, i cant concentrate. my bike is...not fixed, but good enough to use, so im riding it everyday...to try to relax. i have 6 weeks of no school now, so that kinda helps. thanks, i dont feel as bad now, yuor the only person who has approved fo me hanging with younger people. on a side note, is always being tired, and having a headache daily bad for people?
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Post by Lianne on Jul 27, 2006 0:42:50 GMT -5
if you are always tired you may have low iron i think thats more a girl thing though, you may want to check your thyroid, although i doubt it. You prolly need more rest. Could be growing or something lol .
Headaches are 99.9% of the time caused by dehydration try drinking more water
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Post by Will on Jul 28, 2006 0:01:21 GMT -5
You totally made me smile there with all that, Li. Have I mentioned how much I adore you?
And I definitely can back Li up on the headaches thing. I get it all the time and it's always from dehydration. I should really learn to drink lots of water.
As for the hanging out with younger people thing, I really don't understand why your "friends" would call you such names. I find it kind of ridiculous. Most of my friends are my own age, but I also have a good deal of other friends who are in the 14-16 year range. It's perfectly normal. So yeah, there are many people out there who wouldn't mind at all.
The problem isn't so much that in your case, I don't think. It's more: why would you want to be around people who would treat you that way?
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Post by vinny on Jul 28, 2006 12:36:55 GMT -5
iron and water...gotcha. (wont i rust? ) no offence on this, but its more...acceptable for females to have friends of younger age. the thing is, there are other guys i know (my age) who are around 14-16yr olds, yet nobody says anytihng bout it to them. just me. ....The problem isn't so much that in your case, I don't think. It's more: why would you want to be around people who would treat you that way? because i have nobody else...
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Post by nancy on Jul 29, 2006 0:07:20 GMT -5
better alone than with bad company. we say that in spanish.
That said, I don't have fun with my oldest (as in, known her for the longest time) friend. I just... don;t. Sometimes when I see her it's no fun at all. Other times I come home and cry: either she's made me feel bad, or I feel bad about not having fun with her anymore, when she still sees me as her best friend and stuff. It's just... I don't want to hang out so much, and I avoid her sometimes, going out with other groups of friends or whatever, but... I don't wanna hurt her. I feel trapped. Nobody knows this.
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Post by vinny on Jul 30, 2006 14:53:06 GMT -5
nancy, thanks for that thought. maybe it is better alone... except i hate being alone.
for your situation, it comes down to this: you care about her, but dont want to hurt her. but you also dont want to get hurt. you cant have it both ways. it sucks i know, but its either you get hurt, or her. i know that sounded mean, its just the way i see it. sorry.
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Post by nancy on Jul 30, 2006 18:18:43 GMT -5
yeah, that's actually how i see it too. and the friendship's been hurting me for a while now... I'll just try and pretend to be always busy during weekdays once school starts, I guess. And go out with other people on weekends... I dunno, I suppose I'll have to say something eventually, 'cause she won't buy it forever. Bleh. I wish I could be assertive.
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